Blessed Snowdrops
by megan.j.mcdaniel
Summary: Ukitake X Writer / OC. My second life in the Soul Society.


I sit in the doorway overlooking the yard, the rain coming down as the shadows move in the bonsai trees. The night is slightly warm and muggy, despite the drenching rain as I gaze out into the downpour. I'm never able to sleep when it rains at night, I love the rain far too much to miss out on it's presence. The sight of the cascading droplets and the sound of it's music over all that it soaked like a blessed symphony to my hearing. I have my foot propped against the screen door, since it's only open far enough for me to sit in the doorframe. The last thing I want is to chance a cold chill to enter the bedroom, thereby risking agitating my fiance's condition. I take my gaze away from the rain and look to the futon, the man underneath sleeping so peacefully. My smile warms considerably as I gaze on Captain Ukitake, his hair in streaming white strands around his head as he dreams. The covers of the futon are only halfway up, leaving his chest and collar exposed to the breeze as he turns his head slightly. Just the sight of him in that peaceful look of contentment sends heat blooming through my chest, gazing on his countenance while he shifts slightly in the futon. I watch his chest rise and fall in a slow and perfect rhythmn, enjoying the fact he isn't straining to breathe or coughing up red like his illness causes on occasion. A part of me wants very much to lay my head to his heart, to listen to that blessed music I love more than anything to course life through his frame. I have always loved that sound, it was the most beautiful sensation to my heart and soul, that symphony of a heart beating inside to give life and love in abundance. A heart that was now mine to cherish with all of my own. My thumb brushes against the ribbon he'd tied to my ring finger earlier, a special promise that he had laced with care as he'd asked me to marry him that afternoon. He was always buying me simple gifts, each one with a beautiful ribbon on the box or over the wrapping. What had been given with the ribbon had always been different, a small box of candies, a stuffed doll shaped like a koi fish, or a bottle of sweet Moscato wine he'd brought back from the world of the living for us to share. He'd even gotten me a new music player for my recent anniversary of coming to the Soul Society, meaning I was able to update all my favorite music and have it on one player again. I'd been elated and tackled him in a fierce hug, making both of us fall over as he'd laughed. Each gift had been wonderful, matching the occasion it was given on perfectly. It was a signature of his, to gift unique and somewhat unusual items to those he called friend as well as comrade. I had kept every ribbon, having my friend Momo help me lace them all together into an intricate braid I wore at my neck. Though I had to wind the length several times around and the loops hung down past my collar in several rungs by now. The braid was my chain for my necklace, the old cross laying against my heart from my old life in the world of the living. I still held tight to my spiritual convictions, which baffled everyone to no end. But it was who I was, who I am at heart, and would always choose to be. I look upon my second life in the Soul Society as an added tempering of my faith and spirit, the Lord having me continue my service to Him in this fashion. In a sense, leading by His example in serving others, protecting against Hollows and bringing peace to all that I came across. I did not question the 'whys' or the 'what ifs' the other Shinigami asked me constantly, I truly believed what I told them in response. "Mine is not to question the one I call my sovereign Lord. Mine is simply to believe and obey, in both love and reverence."

Captain Ukitake had applauded my answer when I gave it to him, his smile warm as he'd laughed, "It isn't easy to change a belief one has held for a lifetime, is it Megan?" I'd laughed long and hard at this. "Why should I change any of who I am? I could have done so countless times before, out of convenience or some other half baked reason. I gave myself to Yeshuah willingly, out of love and a promise that my heart ached to have. Yeshuah answered and fulfilled what I needed most of all, for one who loves me to hold me close and treasure me always. Whether it's here, over in the world of the living, or some other place in this existence. This is who I am, Captain Ukitake. Anybody who has a problem with me in this sense, it's their problem in my opinion." Captain Kyoraku had smirked to say to me, "Headstrong and polite while being totally original. I have to say I like that about you Megan, especially the assertive push to that last line." I'd snickered at this, shaking an arm in my sleeve to note, "Thanks. Though I have to say, I really miss wearing regular clothes like cargo pants! I've always hated wearing dresses or skirts for any reason, and now I'm in a practical ballgown! You have no idea how long it took to get used to wearing any of this, though I do enjoy feeling like a feudal lady everyday. Thank the Lord this isn't a full type ballgown with the petticoats, bustle, and strangling corset for the clincher! I'd have to kill somebody if I had to wear that every day!" They'd laughed as we walked together back to the Ugendo, to have afternoon tea and snacks at Captain Ukitake's invitation. I'd readily agreed to join them, since I really liked both of them and wanted to make better friends with them. I was walking backwards to face them as I said, "Reminds me of that one high school dance, I'd really hate to go through that kind of torment again. All the other girls wore tight dresses that were darker colors and practically glued to their frame, and I was in an extra frilled and billowing evening gown of pastel purple. I was forever nicknamed the Sugarplum Fairy after that, with my date snickering just as much as the others." The both of them had laughed for Kyoraku to ask me, "Did you at least look nice?" I'd grinned wide to tell him, "Oh you better believe it! My mom spent two hours putting extra curls in my hair along with some glitter and beads. I had a bare amount of makeup on just to compliment my appearance. I had at least five guys ask for my phone number, which irked my date to no end. But most of the school chose to pin ridicule at me, since I was labeled as an outcast. I swore I'd never make that kind of fashion mistake again, it's why my wedding dress had a specific design. Fairy sleeves and basic trim with a straight cut neckline. I looked like a medieval bride from a fantasy book. I still have a few pictures too, all I had to do was bribe someone from squad twelve to get them off that website where the photos are." Both the Captains went wide eyed at this, Kyoraku exclaiming, "You were married in the world of the living?!" I flushed at this, pointing to the cross on my chain to tell him, "Don't sound so shocked, Captain Kyoraku. You'll pop more holes in my half deflated confidence. Who do you think this was from? We dated during high school and knew each other for years. He was my high school sweetheart, and I love him very much."

I gave a long sigh as they blinked a few times, scuffing a sandaled foot in the dirt as I told them, "I hope he made it out of the accident. I'd hate to think that tragedy took the both of us. Granted, considering how broken I felt in the brief time I was conscious before I croaked, I wouldn't have wanted to." Captain Ukitake frowned as I lowered my gaze, noting my darkening mood as he said, "It wasn't pleasant, I take it." I flinched to tell him, "If I had been able to feel anything like pain or fear at that point, I'm quite certain my heart would have given out." Both of them kept their gaze on me as I told them in full what had happened. "The car was riddled with steel poles that had gone throught the windshield before the other car rammed into my side. Granted, we were in Brad's big Impala and that should have helped protect us both. But the car that rammed my side was an older model Hummer, those things are huge and have a lot of power. I could tell my arm and leg were not going to work, if they had even still been attached. Key idea in my head had been internal amputation, along with a pulmonary laceration from the pole in my chest. Another one had gone right through my waist and into the carseat, so I knew full well my spine and walking was a toasted concept. But there was one thing that cinched the bad, since that also meant no possibility of having kids without a genuine miracle. Then I realized that pulmonary laceration idea wouldn't be an issue and I was essentially done." Both of them frowned as tears burned in my eyes, Captain Ukitake asking, "Oh Megan. You knew?" I nodded, bringing a hand up to where the pole had impaled me into the seat. "Hazards of watching lots of medical television and drama shows, you learn a few things. Like where your left pulmonary vein leading from the heart is, along with how long you have to bleed out when it gets ruptured. I knew I had less than a minute at best. So I chose to make the seconds count." My fingers clutched my chest as I said, "Brad had wrapped his hand in mine, though his grip was slack and I couldn't lift my head up to look at him. I'd squeezed as tight as I could and said what I knew we both needed. 'I will never stop loving you, and thank you so very much for loving me back. You made me feel whole and worthwhile. If this really is it, then I am eternally grateful to God for what we were given in each other. I love you, Brad.' My air had cut out and I wasn't able to say anymore, but his hand had tightened in mine. He was trying to say something, but then the white rushed in and..." I made a bird with my hands and fluttered it away from me for emphasis, the both of them looking very depressed as I gave a long sigh. "Oh well, nothing to be done about it. Heck, I always believed I would keel over at age sixteen. The fact that I made it past twenty astounded me most days. Add on graduating with being on the honor roll for two years and getting married to a wonderful and loving man, color me elated I even got that much! I'd rather be thankful for what blessings I was given. Not dwell on what was never acheived. You stay more posetive that way, and I am so enjoying myself here it should be criminal."

Both of them got their smiles back at this, my enthusiasm evident as we'd turned a corner. I didn't even break stride walking backwards as I moved around another shinigami whose back was turned to mine. Captain Kyoraku tilted his hat as I explained automatically, "Brad made a habit of sneaking up behind me to spook me. I've kinda learned to develop eyes in the back of my head. At least when I can pay attention and I don't have my ear buds in with the music turned up at max volume." I laced my old music player out of my pocket with the ear buds, both of them blinking as I snickered. "Imagine my elation when I got here to the Soul Society with my large bag full of my personal items right next to me along with a zanpakuto for the clincher. I was estatic that I at least had much of my music library to keep along with my bible and two of my handheld video games. I'd go bonkers without my audio candy and button mashing. It helps drown out the world and all the excess background static. Plus I was able to recollect many of my favorite books and such. Though I'd kill to get a desktop computer or laptop. Writing out my poems and stories by hand gets ink everywhere." Captain Ukitake gets an amused look on his face. "Really, you write?" I nod to bring out my notebook, tossing it to him for him to catch. "I recommend pages five or twelve. Feel free to read aloud for Captain Kyoraku." He'd done so as we rounded another corner, though I had to correct him a few times since my penmanship was bad. But the both of them enjoyed the passage as Kyoraku had grinned, "That was very good, Megan." I gave a dramatic bow to hide the creeping blush over my face. "Thank you. But I'm very artistic by nature. I get it from my grandma on my mom's side. I write, I draw, I paint, I do needlework, and I can sing without sounding like a yowling cat." They'd laughed at this as Captain Ukitake asked me, "So if I might ask, do you have no desire to see your Brad again? Even if he was here in the Soul Society?" I shrug at this to think on it. "Well I'd love to see that he's okay. But that would be inviting all kinds of complicated no thank yous along with it. I want to believe he made it and has continued to live his life to the fullest. I'm half convinced if he hadn't made it, I'd have seen him here in the Gotei 13 already. Though he may well be in squad twelve, hiding himself in a corner doing all kinds of research on whatever he can find. Brad has always been exceptional in both intelligence and imagination. He'd make Captain no problem if he really was here, and I'm certain he'd be a fourth seat officer or higher rank by now. But I haven't seen him once in the brief time I've been here in the Soul Society." Captain Ukitake had shifted a bit at this, his question taking me by surprise. "If he was here in the Soul Society, would the two of you get back together?" I tilted my head to the side as I thought about my answer. "Hmmm, good question. 'Think, think, think' as Winnie the Pooh would say. Who is a fictional stuffed teddy bear I grew up watching on television and adored well after I grew up. Though my favorite from those stories is the stuffed tiger named Tigger who bounced around on his tail. I have an actual stuffed toy of Tigger I got back from my old life. I've had that toy since I was in my crib and I'll be damned if I didn't get him back!" Both of them raised an eyebrow at me as I told them, "Yeah, a bunch of shinigami helped me get a lot of my things back for me or replaced. They all made out like bandits in favors and food, and I have all the things that I wanted here with me in the Seireitei. Having things of familiarity is a necessity for me. You two know what autism is?"

They nodded and I pointed my thumb at myself. "Mine's an off shoot of autism. It's called Aspberger's Syndrome and is as much social as it is mental. Which makes even simple conversations like this extremely taxing!" They both blinked as Kyoraku asked, "And the reason it isn't an issue right now?" I snickered with my hands in my sleeves to tell them, "What makes you think I'm not having issues, Captain Kyoraku?" They both gave me a look as I laughed at them. "I'm also a very good actress. Faking and parroting acceptable social behavior is a survival tactic I had to train myself in. It get's really hard at times. But with you two I'm only mildly struggling. Course it helps that I know neither of you will hold a mistake like that against me. Makes me a bit more relaxed." Ukitake had smiled at this, his eyes warm as he noted, "Is that why you and your Captain get along so well?" I grin as I say, "Yep! Gin told me right off the bat to never fake anything for him when he found out about my autism from Izuru. He even openly encourages me to do odd ball behavior whenever we're together. One time we had to do a ton of paperwork, and I toppled a pile over with a broom handle to push it's contents around with said broom. I told them paper pushing was good exercize, and Gin laughed so hard I thought he'd keel over." We all laughed as I made sweeping motions with my hands to add onto the pun. I smiled as I said, "He loves it when I make him laugh, so I do it whenever possible. It's why he calls me 'his amusing mouse' since I tend to squeak whenever he surprises me. But coming here to the Soul Society was extremely hard to adjust to. I'm guessing dying does that for everyone, but there were times I went catatonic. It's why Gin readily agreed to helping Izuru and Momo organize a group to go with me to get a lot of my possessions back. Since he'd watched me have an episode and did not enjoy doing so one bit." Both of them flinch as Ukitake asks, "How bad was it?" I shivered as I told them, "From what Gin told me, really bad. I don't remember anything other than the papers I had in my hand falling to the floor and Izuru shouting my name. Next thing I know, Gin had his arms around me in his lap with Momo and Hanataro from squad four kneeling over me. Izuru told me they thought I was having some kind of panic attack, until I started ripping at my skin and clothes with my nails. I got Izuru in the neck and Gin over his face when they grabbed hold of me to stop me from really hurting myself. They both know I would never do anything to hurt them, I call them my brothers for a reason. So when I went limp after having a full on coniption fit for ten whole minutes, someone got Hanataro and Momo to help get me back on track. Ever since that happened, Gin has made certain I have a fondation to stand on in order to cope with the crazyness of just basic daily life. Izuru and Momo got a bunch of members from our combined squads to go with me back to my parents house in the Living World, and we were able to get practically all my stuff back with little difficulty. I got to take time to say my good bye to them both also, which helped a bunch in helping me move past all the drama." Kyoraku adjusted his hat to say, "I have to wonder how you tied up the loose ends that getting your things back would entail." I smile to say to him, "It was pretty simple actually. My parents think that all my things were donated to particular church groups in my will they 'found' while cleaning the basement, and most of it was all extras of stuff they already had. It's why there's a couple televisions and console games in our barracks, along with five bookshelves of various novels and mangas. They're all mine and are now set up for public use, save for a few items I kept for myself exclusively. Sharing is fine by me as long as the items get used. Plus nobody has bested me at the console games yet and I enjoy trouncing the other seat members. Even Gin enjoys playing them just as much as I do. There are nights we just sit and game well until two in the morning together. You two are welcome to join us for our weekly tournament and our movie nights if you like, I'm making some snacks to pass around again." Both of them had accepted as we'd turned another corner, if only for them to sample my cooking. I'd grinned as I told them, "Awesome! I'll have to make the pistachio cake then. Though I'm tempted to have one of my squad members teach me how to make ohagi or some other traditional snack. But back to your earlier question, Captain Ukitake. I don't really know if Brad would want to get back together with me, or if I'd want to do so for that matter. Should we base our new lives on an old promise like that? I'd think it a very bad idea to do that, especially since a shinigami have a much longer timespan."

I shrugged as we finally arrived at Ukitake's home to say, "Yes, I'll always love Brad and want him to be happy. But that doesn't mean we'll be happy if we try to get back together like it was before. I don't want to chain him to a bad situation, just as he wouldn't want to do the same to me. For a marraige to really work, you have to love who you are together as a pair. It's not just about you loving the other or for them to love you, it's about loving who the two of you become as a joined partnership. That's the trade secret, so remember that if either one of you decides to get hitched." The both of them had started sputtering and coughing at this, Kyoraku going as bug eyed as Ukitake as I'd cackled ruthlessly. "Cripes! I wish I had a video camera for that! I may as well have electrocuted the both of you! Though I'm sure payback will be imminent, that made my whole week!" I'd stopped laughing when Ukitake kept coughing, his breathing hard and labored as he kneeled forward slightly. I'd gone wide eyed when red started trickling from the corner of his mouth, and I'd wanted to kick myself for being the cause. I'd helped keep him upright as I cursed at myself, "Oh crap! This was so not what I wanted out of that snarky comment! I should have just kept my mouth shut!" I held my sleeve out for him to cough into, my eyes burning with hot tears as I told him, "I am so sorry, Captain Ukitake! I didn't mean to make this happen! Let's get you inside! Captain Kyoraku, grab an arm!" He'd done so as I got Ukitake's other side, the both of us helping him into the house. We'd headed straight for the bedroom and I got the door open to say, "I got this, would you go get a few things for me?" Kyoraku had nodded for me to list off, "Water pitcher, glasses, three hand towels and a basin of cold water. I'd get them if I knew where they were. But I'll hold the fort until you get back." He'd nodded to hurry off as I propped Ukitake up behind me, letting my spiritual power flow over my frame to gently lift him up off the ground. He'd gripped my arms tighter in surprise as I moved us forward in a hurry, having him halfway levitating behind me as I got us to his futon. I laid him down to switch about my usage of spiritual energy to say, "Maybe this will help. Humor my leap of an imagination." I'd put my ear buds in to turn to a specific track, my power moving over him to negate the pull of gravity and lift him up to partially float in midair. His coughing lessened considerably and he started taking full breaths of air, my own hair lifting up slightly as my reiatsu bloomed around us in a vibrant turquoise. Kyoraku came back in with the items I'd requested to stare at what I was doing, asking Ukitake, "You all right, Jushiro?" Ukitake had opened his eyes to note his hair was floating about his head in the air, his surprise evident as he said, "Yes Shunsui. Much better actually. Though I'm wondering what she's doing." I started shaking as my head started to ache, my whisper a hissed, "Please hurry up and get back, Captain Kyoraku. I can't keep this up without blowing something important in my head." I'd opened my eyes when I felt his footsteps behind me, since I couldn't hear when my music was blaring in my ears. I'd gently layed Ukitake down to pop out one of the ear buds. "Perfect timing. Sorry if you said something earlier. Volume is up full crank so I can do that without too much difficulty." Kyoraku shook his head to smile and say, "That explains it. Here's your shopping list, Megan."

I'd snickered to pour the water, coming around to physically prop Ukitake up as I'd said, "Here. Drink this, then we have to get your haori off." Both of them gave me a look and I told him, "Did you want Head Captain Yamamoto to see you got red on it?" Kyoraku noted I was right and I got the haori off of Ukitake to try destaining it. I'd laid him back down with care as he thanked me, and I'd huffed to say, "My fault. So therefore, I fix. Remind me later you owe me a swift smack in the head. You may use any blunt impliment you wish, I deserve it. Heck, I'm half tempted to let Ikkaku beat the stuffing out of me tomorrow for our sparring match. Though he does that anyways for me to visit Hanataro and get restuffed and stitched back together." The both of them had chuckled as I laid the stained corner of the haori in the basin of cold water, holding my fingers to the bridge of my nose as I'd said, "I'll help with making the tea and snacks for us in a minute or five, Captain Kyoraku. Just give me a moment to try getting this out of very nice white material. Now what was it mom said to do for blood stains again? Work brain, you can't call her and ask. Yeah, calling dad's out of the picture too. Great. Now I'm getting severely depressed again. Mental note to find a way to send flowers for that day coming up." Kyoraku asked me, "What day is that?" Tears burned in the corners of my eyes when I answered. "The anniversary of the crash. I have to constantly remind myself to send flowers, or I'll rekill myself for not doing so. It's not much, but I want to believe it's enough in the long run. Now I remember. Rubbing bad, dabbing better, straight soaking best. Let's see if that works." I'd dipped one of the hand towels into the cold water to hand to Kyoraku and say, "Here, it's hot and you're wearing the most layers out of the three of us." He'd thanked me as I dipped the second one to then fold and lay over Ukitake's forehead, his smile of thanks making my heart skip a few paces. The last one I'd soaked to then lean my head all the way back and place over my eyes and hang over my hair. "Okay, that feels good. Very wet and running into hair, but good. Oh heck with it! Timber!" I fell backwards to land with a loud thump in front of Kyoraku, my grin evident as I'd said, "Much better, the floor was looking mighty comfy." The both of them had laughed as I unplugged the ear buds to my music player and switched to my better station. Beautiful With You by Halestorm started to play and I sang along with enthusiasm, getting wide smiles from both of them as my voice drifted over the melody. I even sang to the Phantom of the Opera, which isn't an easy piece to match by any means. Evil Angel by Breaking Benjamin soon followed, and I gave my all to every note as the two of them enjoyed. Again by Flyleaf came on next, but I didn't know all the words. So I checked on the haori instead. I'd reached in and rubbed the material together that was stained, the blood lacing up off the haori into the water as I worked. Kyoraku had chuckled after the song was over to then play Cynics and Critics by Icon for Hire. "I take it you have a preference to loud and passionate." I'd laughed openly. "For the moment yes. I tend to bounce around on what my favorite music is. Last week it was Celtic, the week before was Country. Most of the time it's either Alternative Rock, Techno, or a mix of the two with some Christian songs mixed in. I have never been one to stick myself into one category on anything. Which my mom found very cool that I set my own trend. Though she was impressed at how well I do the whole 'tragic goth' look." Ukitake had gone wide eyed to stare at me. "I've seen pictures of that trend in a magazine one of the squad members brought back from an assigment in the Living World. Are you serious?" I'd grinned and nodded. "Yep. For much of middle school, I was a black widow type debutant. Black coat with high heeled platform boots and blue lipstick. I was already considered to be an outcast, so I figured I may as well dress to impress. A few of my teachers loved how I looked like some tragic vampire and yet I was a very warm and vibrant personality. I like what I enjoy and do so with enthusiasm. Whether it's a book series, music, or the company of good friends and those I consider family."

I got up on the next song, my joy evident as I'd exclaimed, "NOW we're talking!" Don't Wanna Go Home by Jason DeRulo started playing and I started dancing and weaving about the room. Ukitake propped himself up to watch, the both of them laughing as I'd twirled and swayed with reckless abandon. Until the song ended and I'd given a fluent bow for the both of them to clap as we laughed openly. "That was a good workout if anything. I hope you two enjoyed the sight of me making a complete fool of myself." They'd smiled to shake their heads, Ukitake saying, "Hardly, but now you're all flushed." I'd given a hard huff of air to state, "It's like an over in here! Methinks we should open a window or the screen door. I'll get it." I'd done so and openly gaped at the yard, my eyes wide as I said, "Criminitely! Look at all the bonsai trees! This is amazing! Why are we sitting indoors when there's an entire area of plush grass and a pond out here?!" Kyoraku had snickered to say, "Because we'd been a little busy." I'd laughed at this. "True. But we should make that tea now, along we a few snacks to enjoy." Kyoraku had helped Ukitake up at this, my concern making me ask, "You sure you feel well enough to be up so soon?" Ukitake had nodded to hold out his hand to me. "Yes. Whatever it was you did to lift me up helped considerably. I feel completely fine." I'd given a relieved sigh and took his hand. "Good. And who said comic books weren't educational?" Kyoraku had laughed to grin at me. "That's where you got that from?" I nodded. "Yep. I figured it was hard enough to be struggling to get air and fighting the pull of gravity on top of it. So I cut the latter out of the equation." I'd gone to take a step forward, when a memory surfaced unbidden like it did on a few occasions. Of being in the wrecked car as I'd struggled to breathe, my body going cold and numb as I'd gripped Brad's hand tight. My hand that had been in his about crushed Ukitake's as I'd gone dead still, my eyes going unfocused as tears started to stream down my face. Ukitake had gone wide eyed as I shook all over, my air coming in hard pants as I shivered. "Megan?" My other hand hung at my side as Ukitake took it, my whole frame shaking as he tried to get my attention. "Megan? Are you all right?" Kyoraku had walked over and put a hand to my head, the action snapping me back to the present at last. I finally blinked to look up at them as Kyoraku asked me, "What happened? You zoned out on us. Where did you go?" I blinked a few more times, my voice breaking as I choked out, "I was back in the car wreck again." Both of them flinched at this, my eyes still streaming as I'd confessed, "I wasn't ready to die, not when I knew full well it would ruin my family. Yet I also didn't want to seem ungrateful for what time I was given. I didn't want to go feeling bitter and angry in my final moments. But the worst of it all is that Brad and I had been fighting in the car. I'm quite sure it's why we hit the back end of the truck. All over the fact that we had to use his car while mine was getting fixed and how we should have replaced it already. I wish more than anything I had just let my anger go and not taken it out on him. But now... now it's too little… and far too late..." My words had failed me as I let go of Ukitake's hands to bawl into them, sobbing as I'd wished Brad was there to hug me tight and tell me it was all right like he used to.

Imagine my shock when Ukitake did so instead, his arms coming around me to hold me close. His actions had me go dead still as he held my head to his heart, the pace even and strong and oh so beautiful to my hearing. My own heart thundered in my chest at the close contact of one whom I deem as wonderous, holding my breath as he'd told me with even more beautiful words, "I'm sure Brad didn't mean to have an arguement with you any more than you did. He wouldn't want you to blame yourself either. You loved each other, so do not blame yourself for what you could not have change. Let your guilt go Megan. It's not warranted for such a loving soul like you." I'd choked as my heart started pumping in a frenzy and I let myself crumble, wrapping my arms around his waist to cry into his front and have someone hold me close. Ukitake held me tight as I wailed and sobbed, my words coming out along with plenty of hiccups as I'd lamented, "Oh! (hic) I- (hic) I wish that- (hic) I could have made- (hic) made his dreams come true! (hic) I wish our- (hic) our marraige hadn't- (hic) hadn't had to- (hic) end in such a- (hic) such a horrid way! I'd- (hic) I'd give- (hic) give anything to make- (hic) make things right! But I can't! (hic) So what do I do?! (hic) Oh Lord- (hic) What will make this bearable?!" My music player then switched to the perfect song in answer, the presence of the Lord in every breath I took as the song began. Right Beside You by Building 429 drifting over the air as I'd gone wide eyed in realization. Both Ukitake and Kyoraku noted the lyrics as my voice joined in the intonation, my hand reaching up to grip tight to the cross and the promise I hold in my heart and soul. My reiatsu bloomed over me, washing the room in turquoise as Ukitake placed a hand to my neck, Kyoraku placing his own hand on my head to show his support as well. By the time the song ended, I wasn't shaking anymore and I'd given a grateful sigh. "Haa... Okay... I'm okay again... It amazes me how Yeshuah can touch my soul in such a fashion. Playing the perfect music right when I need it and having friends here to pull me out of that pit of misery. Thank you so much, Captain Ukitake. You as well, Captain Kyoraku. I am truly grateful for your support." Ukitake had laced his hand through my fiery curls at this. "Think nothing of it, Megan. Such a burden is too great for one to handle well alone. And please, call me Jushiro. You need not address either of us so formally." I'd gone beat red as Kyoraku chuckled and told me, "Yeah. I find it way too formal the way you pronounce our last names along with our rank. Like we're some kind of expensive sake or something." I'd given a laugh to tease them. "Okay then. Though the two of you are finer than the rarest of sake in my book." Ukitake's hand in my hair froze at this, his heart rate rising in a more elevated tempo as he'd said, "What?!" I'd given a breathless laugh as the sound made my toes curl. "A good man is recognized by what is in his heart, Jushiro. Any good woman will see this quality readily. Should such a thing be so surprising?" His heart started pounding even harder at the compliment, his face going slightly red as Kyoraku snickered at both of us. "Very poetic of you, Megan. Keep up such talk in my presence and I might start believing you mean it when saying such about me." I'd snickered back at him. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind then, Shunsui."

It was hard for me to believe that had only been six months ago, Ukitake spending that day casually hinting at his growing attraction to me on and off. That in itself had floored me, then he tilted my whole world when he'd asked we be more than platonic a little later. I'd gone bug eyed and exclaimed, "Say WHAT?! JUSHIRO! How can you be asking me that?! It's too soon for you to be that interested in me already! Heck, I knew Brad for five years before we even dated! I've known you for two or three months, yet you already want to start chasing me?! Cripes! I thought age instilled patience, not took it away completely!" He'd laughed to hand me another small gift wrapped in a ribbon, a jar of balm lotion for my hands as he'd said, "What can I say, Megan. I find you to be a captivating young woman, and would love to explore what we might be together instead of just two seperate people." I'd pinched my arm in front of him. "Shitake mushrooms and horseradishes. If this is a dream, then I demand for a box of mochi ice cream to pop into my hands right now. This has to be a dream, there's no way this could be happening otherwise. I can't have the guy I'm smitten with ask me first in two seperate lifetimes. Though this time is a whole lot less believable." Ukitake had gone wide eyed as he'd said, "Wait a minute, did you just say smitten? What are you talking about?" I'd looked up and flushed all over when I met his gaze. "This cannot be happening, Jushiro! It's just too perfect! I can't have the one my heart has been pining for just up and sweep me off my feet like last time! It's just not possible such a fanatsy to ever be made real in my waking hours!" Ukitake got a knowing look on his face as he said, "So then. I take it I'm not the only one interested in pursuing this between us?" I'd given a slight squeak as I noted what I'd just admitted to. "Hardly! I've BEEN interested since we first met! But I'm not the kind of girl who holds out for romance or a happy ending of this magnitude! It was too hard to believe the first time around! But this time the fairy tale has a literal nobleman of high stature taking notice of the oddball peasant girl to sweep her off her feet?! I'm waiting for the other geta to pelt me in the back of my head, Jushiro!" Ukitake had burst out laughing at this, his arms coming around to hug me as he said, "Then maybe I should set my sandal on your head for you. Or will this do?" I was stunned and elated at the same time, my hands covering my front as I exclaimed, "So you're being serious?! Yeshuah, Miriam, and Yosef! I think my heart just blew a gasket!" He'd laughed and placed his fingers to my neck, noting the hard drumming to smile at me in a heated look. "Not yet you haven't, but from what I can tell you're getting close. So then, are you willing to accept my courtship?" My heart skipped a beat to make me shiver all over, my excitement evident as I said, "Do you honestly think I'd say no?! YES! When can I move to your squad?!" He'd leaned down so we were at eye level. "How about the same time you move in with me." I'd gone dead still at this. "Jushiro... No... I won't do that... I... I'm sorry... But I have rules I must adhere to..." Ukitake had frowned as I told him, "I retook my vows of chastity before God, Jushiro. No intimacies of the naked variety for any reason, until my husband to be puts a certain something on a certain finger. I won't compromise such an oath, not to my Sovereign Lord. Not even for you. I'm sorry, but I can't." Ukitake nodded in understanding to suggest, "Then how about you moving into the spare room next to mine instead. That way we're together and you may keep to your vow at the same time."

I readily agreed to that, the two of us heading to the squad three barracks right away. Captain Ichimaru was very happy for me when I snuck into his office on my own to tell him. Though he did give me a sad frown when he said, "I'll miss having you here to keep things interesting, my amusing mouse. But I should have figured you'd up and abandon me for someone else. You are a very cruel woman indeed to leave me like this, Megan." I'd given him a dramatic sigh, my humor evident as I told him, "Oh please, Gin. Cry me a river and it still won't convince me. You've had plenty of opportunity to catch me for yourself. If anything, I should be crushed that I never got a chance to steal your heart away from whatever woman you secretly fancy. Don't even bother denying it, I know there's somebody you find special! And when I do find out who it is, you're going to ask her out! No excuses, brother! You deserve to be happy in this manner, just as much as myself or anyone else!" Ichimaru had snickered at me, his shoulders shaking as he'd told me, "Sadly, one has to have a heart to fall in love, Megan. Hence why I'd readily take yours for myself. Since mine is currently absent." I'd whapped him over the head to then hug him tight. "Liar. You have a heart, Gin. You just choose to hide it from everyone." He'd opened his eyes slightly at this, the orbs of blue holding genuine warmth as his fingers traced through my hair. "So you keep telling me. How is it that you can see such in me when I can't, pray tell?" I'd hugged him tighter to note, "Besides the fact I can hear it thumping away in your chest right now?" We'd laughed as I leaned my head to the rhythmn, my eyes drifting closed at the sound as I told him, "Maybe you really don't want to see, maybe you'd rather said special woman does so for you, or you're saving your heart for a rainy day. How would I know, Gin? Just because you open up with me more than with others doesn't mean I can read you like a book. You know full well my autism makes that even more difficult." He'd nodded to hug me tight to his frame, the steady beat of his heart keeping pace to my own as he placed a hand to my head. "True. I had wondered why you got so stiff around everyone when you first joined our squad. Izuru made the most progress finding out the reason, and I'm glad he told me. If only so we knew the reason you had that episode." Gin flinched at the memory, the beat in his frame rising slightly as he said, "I really thought you were going to hurt yourself. It was as if you wanted to strip everything from your body until there was nothing left of you." I gripped him tighter and said in a flat voice, "I was Gin. How else is one able to make themselves dissapear?" Gin jerked at this comment, the hand in my hair shaking slightly as he noted, "How else indeed. I'd rather not see you do that again." I sighed to say, "Or for you to nearly get your eyes scratched out? On a side note, sorry for that." He laughed to tell me, "It's fine, Megan. I was actually impressed with how you kept us off you until Momo and your friend from squad four arrived. Momo had to use kido on you just to get you under control, and Izuru couldn't believe how one so passive as you could fight back that fiercely. I was more stunned at the language you were using, I've never heard you drop so many curse words in rapid succession like that!" I snickered to say, "I was a lot worse when I had to drive to work and back. I'm surprised my red car didn't go white and explode after all the verbal bombings I let loose."

We laughed as Gin said, "I was about to do just that, then you had that episode and let all your anxiety out with that Hanataro boy explaining for us. I was getting frustrated watching you struggle and bottle it all in like you tend to do. Having a jittery mouse around a snake like me can be dangerous." I laughed really hard at this. "Oh really?! No wonder I like you so much, snakes are awesome!" He'd looked surprised as he asked, "Really?" I nodded with emphasis. "Of course! My friend Dustin had an albino snake named Ruby. The first time I went to his house, he made sure to move her tank from the living room so I didn't get spooked. But when I told him that I liked snakes, he brought her out to let me hold her. She was gorgeous, lacing around my arms while I held them in front of me for a full hour. It wasn't until she slithered into my hair and licked my ear that I jumped." Gin laced his fingers along my head at this point to snicker and say, "Not a bad idea, actually." I'd yelped and laughed as his fingers tickled at my ear, his grin even wider as I whacked lightly at his front. "ACK! GIN! THAT TICKLES! STOP IT!" He leaned down to playfully hiss in my ear and I squealed in mirth, our laughter echoing in his office as he hugged me tight. "Be sure you come back to visit me. I'll get very bored without you breaking up my routine like you usually do." I'd leaned up and given him a quick peck on the cheek. "As long as you don't change the locks on me or something. I'll also have the tournaments and movies here, so you will see me around. I promise." I then went to the rest of the squad to make my announcement, the whole squad openly cheering and helping to pack up my things. We took most of my things with us, including the better entertainment center and books, to the chagrine of the squad. But Lieutenant Izuru had agreed for me to keep my original possessions, his smile evident as he'd said, "Congratulations, Megan. I'm so pleased you have the love you've missed since coming here returned to you." I'd hugged him tight at this to grin in joy. "Having you for a friend slash older brother helped things considerably, Izuru." He'd given me a big smile of his own. "Of course, though there are times you make me feel like the younger sibling between us. Bit I'll miss having us practice that puzzle game together." I'd laughed and told him, "You are more than welcome to come and game with me all night if you so wish, Izuru. And I was still going to hold the tournaments and movies here. I bribed a few members of squad twelve to hook us up with a bigger screen as a surprise. And the extra Wii we snagged is staying here along with most of the games for it." Izuru laughed to say, "So that's what you were up to heading down to Research and Development again. What did it cost you?" I gave a loud sigh. "It would have been the usual food and a few favors if Captain Kurotsuchi hadn't butted in." Izuru went stock still at this bit of news. "Oh great. What did he do?" I shivered all over as I told him, "Made me get on his table to poke and prod me for a few hours. He didn't cut me open or anything. He was just curious on how my autism affects my thought processes. I have to go back in a couple of days on and off for a few months, too." Izuru flinched at this. "Lovely. No wonder you came back that day looking like a terrified wreck. I know how scared you are of him." I nodded to note, "It helped that I gave him an old science fiction classic to read. I got it for him as a gag gift, but he thought my sarcasm was very amusing." Izuru raised and eyebrow and I told him, "It was that novel Frankenstein by Mary Shelley." Izuru snickered at the evident pun laced into such a gift. "That was clever of you to do." I nodded. "He got really excited when I told him what it was about. I'm guessing he's read it multiple times by now, which will have me thinking he's going to stitch me up and put bolts in my neck like the movie monster. It's bad enough he knows how terrified I am of him, which he takes full advantage of. But maybe now that Jushiro has a claim on me, he'll back off." Izuru shook his head to ask me, "How is it you can let him intimidate you? Yet you show no care or concern in the slightest with Captain Ichimaru? Many other shinigami find our Captain the scarier of the two." I pointed to the bookshelf to tell him right off the bat, "There's a difference between crazy and differently sane, Izuru. Captain Kurotsuchi is a whacked out mad scientist, where as Gin is more like the Joker from those Batman comics. And if you tell Gin I said that, do imply it was a compliment. Since the Joker is my favorite nemesis character of that series. But enough chatter, time to start packing all this."

-cut off point of part 1-

The months after I moved in with Captain Ukitake had passed in joy and wonderous contentment, my heart feeling whole and shining as Ukitake had showered me with copious amounts of affection. He'd even gotten me a laptop with all my old games and music as a surprise birthday gift. I'd tackled him to shower him in kisses, his laughter vibrating in his chest as he'd hugged me tight. We'd spent that whole day playing my old and most favorite game, Day of the Tentacle, on his futon. We had a plate of sliced apples and peanut butter next to us as I'd helped him through the game and laughed right along with him. He'd enjoyed the puzzles and the story immensely, chuckling as he said, "This is very fun. I can see why you enjoy these video games so much. But I can't figure out what to do here. How do I get this little hamster to the girl Laverne in the future?" I'd snickered to say, "Pay up for your hint then." He'd smiled to place a kiss to my lips, and I'd moaned, "Mmmm. I meant the apples. But you knew that." He'd laughed to kiss me again, and I'd sighed in enjoyment to say, "Mmmm! I'll just tell you. Use the hamster in the ice box in front of the candy machine. That'll send it through time to Laverne for you. Though she'll have to put the hamster in the microwave there to unfreeze it." He'd done so and saved the game at my urging, to then have Laverne pick up the now hamster ice block on her end. He'd burst out laughing at the face she made sticking the ice down her shirt, my own laugh joining in as he'd exclaimed, "No wonder you had me save, that was hillarious!" I grinned as I then showed him where the microwave to unfreeze the hamster was, and the scene that played out had us both in stitches when I explained the joke Laverne made afterwards. He'd laughed so hard he started coughing again, his fingers lacing in mine as I held tight. I pushed the laptop away to move us, putting my back to his to bend down so his frame would tilt back slightly. Our hands were laced togther tight as his breathing settled a little, though the coughing continued as I started to pray. But after a few minutes, his episode was over and I'd said to him, "Damn it. Remind me to see if Captain Unohana will train me a bit in healing kido, because I hate that this is the best I can do for you." He'd given a long sigh for me to say, "At least you can get a full breath to do that now. But I'm serious Jushiro. I hate that I can't do more for you. I should be finding ways to do so. You'd better remind me when I go to the Ikebana Club tomorrow." Then I'd had an episode of my own, the car crash coming back in full detail as I'd yelped and gripped his hands tight. "Oh no... NO! NOT AGAIN! JUSHIRO!" He'd let my hands go to whirl around fast and hug me tight, pressing my head to his heart as I shook all over with my hands delving into my hair. "It's okay, Megan. I've got you. It's going to be fine." His arm came around my shoulders to hug me close while his free hand laced to my front to grip tight, my heart thundering under his touch as this horrid memory consumed me. I'd leaned into him to drown in his comfort, his warmth and heartbeat banishing the darkness inside me. I'd pressed his hand to my heart and cried, my eyes streaming as I finally got ahold of myself. His own eyes were watering when I finally went limp, his sorrow evident as I begged him, "Jushiro! Promise me this one thing, that you'll never stop loving me! Please, give me that assurance to hold on to!" He'd tilted my head up to kiss me in answer, and my body and heart caught fire as a result. It was no simple display of gentle affection like he usually provided to me, this was a searing display of passion as his hand at my heart laced into my top to place his palm over it's beat. My heart started to pump hard in response, my eyes rolling back as I'd laced my fingers over his own heart to feel it's pace kiss my fingertips. I'd about stopped breathing by the time he'd broken our kiss to tell me, "I promise you Megan. My love is yours. As yours is mine. Always."

I'd taken a shaky breath as his fingers traced over my chest. "Oh wow... Without a doubt... That's the best gift I could ever get from you. Thank you, Jushiro." He'd smiled down at me, his words holding such warmth. "You're welcome, my love. Though I didn't think your heart could beat this hard. I'd think it was going to loose itself from your chest for me to catch in my hands and keep all to myself." I'd shivered as the pumping in my chest caught ablaze at the claim such words entailed. "Believe me, I'd readily let you keep my heart in that manner if that was to happen. But if you keep this up, I'll blow a piston and stop working entirely." His smile had held a hint at naughty intentions, dipping me back to kiss me again. My hands had come up to lace into his hair, trying really hard to give his lips as much attention as I could muster as my mind threatened to fog over. His hand at my heart feathered lightly over my sternum in warmth, his other hand at the back of my head tilting my head slightly so his lips could drift downwards. My entire body was screaming as his breath played over my skin, every nerve roaring in heat as I'd choked on my air as his laughed slipped from his lips in evident mirth. "Indeed. You'd best make me stop soon." I'd trembled all over as his lips pressed over my pulse in my neck, my eyes shooting open as I'd exclaimed, "OH! But I really don't want for you to stop!" His laugh had tickled my neck at this statement. "Really? What of your vow?" I'd grit my teeth and choked out, "Keep this up and it won't matter anymore! Especially with what you're doing to my heart!" He'd stopped at this truth, then his words ran over me in sinful heat. "So then, the key to your pleasure is in your heart. Then I must ask, what would happen if I did this?" His fingers drifted out of my top and down to press into where the apex of my heart rested, and I'd jerked to shout out, "AH! JUSHIRO! YOU-" His lips claimed mine as his fingers gently stroked, my back arching to meet the touch at my ribs as I'd trembled relentlessly. I moaned and shuddered as his head dipped down to my neck, his lips and tongue tracing over the pounding in my throat. My entire body was singing, his fingers delving into where my heart thundered in my chest at a fierce and frenzied pace. He gave no quarter as I trembled and choked, his sinful laughter breathing over my skin as my mind went blank and my air cut out. Then his his fingers traced over my side to clutch me close to him, his lips kissing over my sternum where my top had come slightly open. The moment his mouth pressed over the center of my chest, something inside me snapped and I lost it. My back arched all the way into his mouth as I came, my eyes going wide and unfocused in turn. I writhed like a live wire in his embrace to make him lay me back down onto the futon, watching with a wide eyed look all his own as I jerked and trembled in release. I knocked over the peanut butter and the apples as I went spiraling into a kelaidascope of sensations, my head banging a few times to the floor as I twitched and shivered. Until I finally went completely still and Ukitake cradled my head in his hands once I'd gone limp. "Dear me! Megan?! Are you all right, my love?!" I'd taken a shakey breath to tell him, "Uhhh... My heart just blew, my head aches, and there's probably globs of peanut butter in my hair. Other than that, everything tingles all over like you just electrocuted me. So I'll say I'm elated." His laugh had echoed through the room, his head coming down to my heart as he laid himself down next to me. "I'm glad then. Though I didn't think it would be that easy to-" Then his eyes went wide as he heard just how hard and fast my heart was pounding. "Good heavens! Megan! Your heart is going to burst at this rate!" I gave him a weak laugh to exclaim, "I just told you, it already did!" He chuckled to close his eyes and lay with me as his pillow, my breath coming out on a long sigh as I told him, "You sinfully naughty angel of promise. Don't do that again until you put a band on my finger. I can't even tell you no for regular things! What makes you think I can do so for that?!" He'd laughed right along with me, my hands pressing his head to my heart as I told him, "But that was perfect, Jushiro. Thank you. Now you'll have to fetch a rag to get the sticky mess out of my curls." But he hadn't moved, telling me instead, "If it's all right with you, I'd rather we just stay like this for a bit." I'd gone dead still to then grin. "Sure, I'd enjoy that." His hands laced around me to hug me tight, his sigh full of contentment as he told me, "Oh Megan. I don't think I've even been more happy in my entire life than this moment between us. Out of all the music you give to me with your smile and laughter, the sound of your heart is my most cherished sonnet you gift to me in your love." I'd gone red as he nuzzled his head against my chest, my words heated as I said, "Truthfully, Jushiro. I feel the exact same way." We ended up passing out together on the futon, but it had been the perfect day to me and would always be my favorite moment between us.

His love was but one of many gifts given to me in abundance, but this ribbon of scarlet hue on my finger was the most cherished of all. My thumb traces the silky material as I remember his proposal earlier this afternoon, my smile full of joy in the recollection. Ukitake had blushed when I looked up at him in evident shock, his laugh full of nervous undertones as he said to me, "I know it's customary to have an actual ring, but I just couldn't think of how to wrap a ribbon around a band that small for you. So I was hoping I could wrap the ribbon over your finger and take it from there." I'd let my mind drift at the notion of what he was asking me. "Actually, this has many layers of romance and fluffy feelings laced into it. Last time I got a item of promise to wear on my finger, Brad told me to catch and tossed me the damn box. So I shall commend thee for thy ingenuity and creativity, my sweet love." I'd gripped his hand tight as my old doubts came crashing over me, my words shaking as much as myself when I asked him, "Jushiro? Are you certain I'm what you want in a wife, in a companion and lover for the rest of your time? Are you absolutely certain that I'm enough for you?" His smile had been full of love and devotion as he'd kneeled down to put his hands at my waist. "Very much so, the ribbon is meant to signify my heart. And I willingly give it to you, along with the rest of me. So then my curly haired child of light. Will you marry me, Megan? Will you take my name as well as myself, to let me have all of you in exchange?" I'd stood there as my eyes streamed and a smile broke over my whole face, my hands coming up to my face as I'd started trembling in excitement. "Are you kidding me?! YES! I want that more than anything! I'll gladly be yours! YES! YES! YES!" I'd twirled in place as I hopped up and down to squeal in delight, Ukitake laughing as I had hugged him as tight as I could to place my lips to his eagerly. We'd immediately tracked down Kyoraku to tell him the news, though I'd had to tickle his nose with the tail of the ribbon to wake him up. He'd been just as estatic, gripping me tight around the waist to whirl me around a few times as I'd laughed. Then the Captains meeting an hour later had me as an unexpected guest, Ukitake bringing me forward before all the Captains and Lieutenants to tell them I'd accepted his proposal. The whole room had gotten really quiet for a moment, but then Izuru started clapping for the others to join in. Momo had run forward to tackle me in her excitement, Captain Aizen following behind to smile and place a hand on my head. "What joyous news, Captain Ukitake. Congratulations to you both. I trust you will keep him happy, Eighth Seat Megan?" I smiled at this to tell him with warmth, "I fully intend to, Captain Aizen. Though he'll have a much easier time keeping me content. It doesn't take much to make me happy." Gin had snickered to say, "So very true, my amusing mouse. Congratulations, Megan."

Head Captain Yamamoto had then asked me to come forwards, and I'd gone a little pale as I did so. I kneeled down and bowed my head to the floor, staying that way until he said, "You may rise, Eighth Seat Megan." I did so and was so nervous I'd been shaking like a leaf, but Head Captain Yamamoto smiled warmly at me. "I am pleased that Captain Ukitake has found such a match in you. I expect you to keep him in line for me, young one." I'd nodded to then add before I could stop myself, "If anything, he's the one that should keep me out of trouble, Head Captain Yamamoto." I'd clapped my hands to my mouth when I realized what I said, but Yamamoto just chuckled at me. "Indeed. It would seem that you have a true gem in this one, Captain Ukitake." Ukitake had placed his hands around my waist to help me up, my frame hugged tight as he said, "That I do. She is a most wonderous pearl indeed." I laughed at this to state, "Only when you claim me as such. I have never seem myself as anything other than a plank of driftwood most days. I've always had pathetically low self esteem issues." A few shinigami raised an eyebrow at this, but Ichimaru broke the moment. "Which you should have learned by now is not the way many of us see you. It seems your vision isn't as good as you made it out to be, my amusing mouse." I'd chuckled at this, walking over to hug him tight. His whisper was only for me as his lips came to rest against my ear to tell me, "Don't think this means I'll let him screw this up without some bloodshed on my end." I'd snickered to reply against his own ear, "Like you're one to stab a dead body. He gave me his heart and I'm keeping it. Even if I have to rip it out to do so." Gin snickered so hard I thought he'd bust something. "Like I'll do for you if I choose to pursue you, Megan?" I'd opened my eyes to meet his gaze, his eyes opening in turn to stare at me like a cat as he said, "I may not know how to love. But I do know when I want something. Even if I can't easily have such." He'd traced a hand through my hair, and in that moment I felt fear lace through my heart. But I tamped down on it with vehemence, and leaned forward to tell him, "Oh Gin. Do you really want to hurt me in that manner, my beautiful viper? Ruining me by making me into a conquest, leaving me to squander along with your own neglected heart?" He'd gone stock still, the grin vanishing from his face as I intoned, "Don't play me for a complete fool when I am simply a halfwit, my souls brother. Either you've convinced yourself you don't know how to love, or you try hiding the fact you don't know the right way to give such a gift. I know full well you have a heart capable of love. Don't bother trying to convince me otherwise. Brad was much the same, don't think you can fool me when I know these given tells. Know now that if you dare to hurt me when it will hurt Jushiro in turn, I'll do my absolute best to slit you from fangs to tail. I'm not above trouncing you with all I can give. Even though I love you dearly, Gin Ichimaru." I'd placed a quick peck to the corner of his mouth before turning towards everyone else, smiling to say behind my back, "Thank you for your blessings, Captain Ichimaru. They mean much to me and give me much joy from one whom is my brother in spirit." I'd then moved to hug Izuru tight, Aizen noting Ichimaru had lost his signature grin. Ichimaru watched me stand with Ukitake to receive our congratulations from everyone, the smile never returning to his face as he kept his eyes on me in serious thought for the rest of the meeting.

Ukitake had promised to take me to Karakura Town to get a real wedding band in the morning, the two of us getting one for the other at my insistance. But I was finding the excitement to be too much to even think about sleeping, the rain ramping my system up further like an IV of espresso. I kind of wanted to go out in the yard and stand in the downpour to dance around and give thanks to the open air. But I'd rather not chance getting chilled myself, since it was getting colder in the season. I hold up my hand to gaze at the ribbon, the bow where the gem should rest. I'm tempted to carefully slip it off to stitch the bow in place, but I wouldn't risk having it come loose to ruin the tying. My smile plays over my face in avid joy, my whisper warm as tears lace down my face. "Thank you Lord. For this exquisite blessing in my second lifetime. I wish my first had lasted longer, but this time I'm going to do my best and be what my spouse needs of me most of all. I ask you Lord, help me where I falter. Guide my steps in this dance, make me into what you wish of me for this wonderful man. Be with my family who yet linger in the Living World. Be with my first husband wherever he resides, and may your blessings shower like copious amounts of rain on all. Though I'm worried about what Gin said to me earlier to frighten me. He's never scared me before and I have to wonder why he actively did so today. Does he have a specific reason? Is he actually in love with me instead of what our platonic brother slash sister relationship suggests? Would he even tell me if that was the case? I do love him dearly, he's very precious to me for many different reasons. But I'd rather he find and snatch the real love of his heart. Remind me later to figure out who that really is. Though I'm guessing it's Rangiku like I first suspected. Maybe you can give me a few ideas to figure that problem out. But for now my Lord, I shall thank you and bask in this moment. A perfect gift in this symbolized heart that is of immeasureable worth. How did I get one that's so wonderful to even notice me?! Even now, the idea is mind boggling! But now my bigger question is what wedding band I should get? I know he'll treasure whatever I pick, but it has to be perfect. Perhaps an interwoven band of different metals like ribbons? A plain band with koi fish sketched into it? Or an engraving on the inside with a simple poem, but what would I have engraved? Probably 'My heart embraces you, beloved' knowing me. Perhaps I should get a chain for him to wear it over his heart if he wants? That's an idea I like, since I'd like to do the same with mine. Like wrap a few lengths of this braid like a gentle choker to keep the ring and my cross seperated." I give a long yawn at this point to grumble, "Oh shoot, now I'm getting tired? Typical. Oh well, I'll just-" I hear a slight murmur coming from the bedroom, compelling me to turn and look to my fiance. I can see Ukitake isn't so peaceful anymore, shifting about in his sleep as I get up and quietly shut the door to walk over to him. His face is pulled together in a frown, his hands clutching the covers slightly as I hear Ukitake whsiper a barely audible name. "Kaien..." My eyes go wide as he turns his head towards me, his eyes beginning to leak tears as he calls out in a shaking whisper, "Kaien... I'm sorry... Please... Kaien..."

I'm already next to him and under the covers, bringing his head to my heart as I hold him close. For a moment, Ukitake tries shifting away from me, his pleas full of regret as tears trek down his beautiful face. His sorrow pierces my heart as he tries to get free of my hold and go help his Lieutenant long dead. I run a hand through his hair as he begs for forgiveness, his words aching in offering to one who was both comrade and beloved friend. I hug him close as he shudders in my hold, my words sweet but strong as I intone, "Oh Jushiro. My precious bearer of snowdrops. Don't cry, my love. Leave the specters behind and return to my offered safe haven. Please, Jushiro. Come to me and away from the nightmare." He takes a full breath of air against the material of my top, his eyes opening to then look up and gaze into mine. Tears continue to fall from their beautiful depths as he says in confusion, "Megan...? I thought that... that..." I give a sad sigh to tell him, "I know. It was just a nightmare, Jushiro. Only a bad memory coming to the fore. It's all right now, I'm right here." His eyes squeeze shut as I hug him to my frame, his hair flowing over me as he turns himself to hug me back while he shakes in torment. My own eyes leak as he cries, his head to my front as he sobs and chokes in misery. I rub my cheek to his head as I comfort this wonderful man with so much grief held inside, my words full of all the love I am able to give. "Oh Jushiro. How long are you going to torture yourself with this? You know full well Kaien wouldn't blame you for what happened. It wasn't your fault, beloved. You did everything you could to make a difference. You helped him keep what mattered most to him. The only grievance Kaien Shiba would have against you is not being able to make peace with his death. But even in this, he would understand and forgive you readily. Kaien will always want what is best for you. That will never change. He'd want for you to let go of this darkness inside, it isn't warranted. Oh Jushiro, my beloved and most cherished soul. Isn't it time to let this misery go? Isn't it time to let this grief fade?" Ukitake grips me so tight my joints pop, his shaking evident as he sobs, "But Megan! I can't! I just can't, I-" I bring his head up to press my lips to his and silence him, his eyes going wide to then close them as I tilt his head slightly. Ukitake shivers all over as I kiss him at the perfect angle, my fingers at his neck as his own lace over my waist and then drift upwards. His hands grip tight to my top to untuck it from my pajama shorts, his gasp of air against my lips ragged as his fingers delve up under the top. I breathe into his mouth intentionally, making him jerk and tremble for whole other reasons as I whisper, "No more of this, my love. You know full well I'm right. You've told me same thing regarding my own guilt over the car crash and my own end. As such, I am just as obligated to remind you of this truth. There is nothing of fault in you. Jushiro, the one who exonerates our division's symbol of the snowdrop in the hope and consolation you bring to those around you. Don't listen to those darkened thoughts. They have no real claim of merit. You are a good man Jushiro, with a loving and beautiful heart. Nothing will ever change this truth." My hands hug his head to my heart, his sobs shaking his frame against mine as I tell him, "I love you, Jushiro Ukitake. My heart embraces you and all that you are. Not just as the Captain of squad thirteen, not just as the dedicated shinigami, not just as a loving sibling to your many brothers and sisters. But as the individual that you are, the man you choose to be, and the one whose heart I love most of all. You are mine now, Jushiro. And I demand that this self doubt and guilt be banished from your soul, if only so that you might give yourself over to my love instead." Ukitake gives me a puzzled look, and I give him a wicked grin to hold up my hand with the ribbon. "I'm talking about the loophole you tied to a certain finger." His eyes widen considerably as I tell him, "My promise to the Lord was this. 'No naked hankey pankey, until a certain man with a certain intention slips a certain item on a certain finger.' Those were my exact words, Jushiro. You are my intended man, you have made said intentions of commitment clear, and this is an item of promise on said finger. In this sense we've cleared all the hurdles, and I don't really care if it's a half assed loop hole just to get your clothes off. I want to make love to you. I want to claim you in the most basic way possible. Such is my intention, so will you then accomidate me in this desire?" His eyes hold utter shock, but they warm considerably as he gives me a wicked grin. "We're not going to make it to Karakura Town in the morning. Are we?" I laugh at this. "Not if I have a say in it. I'd have been half brain dead from not sleeping anyways, so let's make it for a good reason."

His hands run up my back and bring off my top before I can register he moved, his hands drifting down to grin at me in heated desire. I give and excited shiver as his hands roam to then trace my sides, then he looks down and stops dead. His eyes go wide as he stares at one specific spot on my chest, the scar an angry mark like a blotch of paint. I know full well it's mate is on my back, and he exclaims, "Megan...?! Is that... from the car crash?!" I give a hard sigh to answer, "Yep. It's where the pole went through and skewered my main artery." His eyes go even wider as he tells me, "But you shouldn't have this anymore!" I give another hard sigh to note, "The others are still on me too. All of them, every mark and scar from when I died." His eyes leak slightly as his hand reaches up to cover the mark, his gaze finding mine to whisper, "Oh Megan... So this is why you said that... you can't look at yourself in a mirror... Oh love... I-" But I place my fingers to his lips and say sweetly, "Stop. You've paused in your task. The past is history, leave it there and enjoy this moment." I shimmy out of my shorts and underwear for him, kicking them out of the covers for him to note them sail over to where he threw my top. His face goes flush as I tell him, "Your move, Jushiro." His eyes roam over my body, then his fingers follow suit. I shiver and press myself eagerly into his touch, my words barely audible as I breathe words of love in glorious surrender. "Yes, beloved. Make me yours, sear your mark on my senses. Place your brand over my heart and lay claim to all of me with your desire. Please." His kiss is full of heated promise, his own words full of love as he whispers against my lips, "Megan. Beloved soul. I've been waiting for this for two thousand years. All that I've lacked, all that has been missing, I have found in you and your loving heart. I'll never let you go, you are mine sweet child of light. Mine to love, mine to pleasure, mine to savor in blessed abundance." His fingers trace lightly over me as he tells me, "It was worth the wait. Now then, to make your body sing under my attentions." His fingers explore over my whole frame, feathering over my skin as I tremble and hold my arms wide for his exploration. One hand cups my breast and I shiver, his other turning my head to kiss me deeply. His hand gently kneads my front, my moan of enjoyment lost in his opened mouth as he notes against my lips, "I haven't even really started, Megan. Yet from the way your chest is vibrating against my touch, your heart is already pounding." My laugh drifts over the air on what little breath I have. "Jushiro. My heart always does that whenever you so much as look at me with heat in your eyes." His shiver is evident as he asks me, "Then how is it you haven't had a heart attack yet?" I snicker and say to him, "Good question. Keep going and give my heart even better reasons to thunder inside of me." I bury my hands in his hair as his tongue does sinfully blessed things to my mouth, my mewling lacing from my throat as he laughs at the sound. His kneading becomes more tight as his mouth drifts down my neck, kissing and nipping my skin as I tremble. "Ah. More, Jushiro. Please." I run my hands under his yukata at the shoulders, opening it more as my hands explore. He lays me down for his mouth to replace his hand on my front, and I jump slightly as I shout. His kimono comes off to join my pajamas along with his loincloth, and then my mind cuts out as his tongue swirls over my flesh. The ribbon has come off my finger to be lost in the covers as I whimper and shift under him at this sensations taking all of my attention. Then his kiss presses to my sternum, his fingers delving into the apex of my heart to stroke in time to each beat under his fingers. My air cuts out as my eyes go wide, my entire body trembling as he breathes over my chest. His hand at my back presses my into his mouth as his tongue laves over my other breast, his teeth gently nipping the hardened bud. He drifts his attentions from one side to the other, his lips pressing feather light kisses over my skin. All the while his fingers at my chest keep time to my heart, sending heat and sensation roaring over me with every thunderous beat.

I jerk and shake all over as his laugh shakes his shoulders, my frame twitching as he pleasures my body with his touch and his kiss. Then his hand at my heart thrusts hard enough to make me scream, and I lose all semblance of control. I shift down to claim his lips the same time I wrap my legs around his hips and drive myself into him. The both of us give a loud shout, his in surprise and mine from stretching muscles that are very tight. "Ouch! I forgot how much this hurts!" His air is slightly ragged, but cuts out completely when I twist against him to drive him further in. I take full advantage and flip him over so that I'm on top, his gasp of surprise making me laugh. His length goes in hilt deep as I come all the way down, and I yelp as he hisses and trembles under me to exclaim, "How is that you're so tight, Megan?!" I moan as he just gets harder, stretching me further as I say, "Uhn! Who the Hell cares?! I certainly don't! But enough talk! Time I got down to pleasuring you in turn!" I start to sway my hips in a rotation like I do when I dance, Ukitake giving a hard gasp as his hands grip tight to my waist. My fingers trace over his front, tickling and carressing as he jerks slightly under my attentions. I give my all in pleasuring this man I have fallen so completely in love with, enjoying how he gives a few shouts and evident exclimations of enjoyment as I sway and twist on top of him. I run my fingers up his front to press my hands over his heart, the beat kissing my palms in a frenzy as he shivers under me. Then he gives a growl when I start bucking my hips into him over and over, his hands at my waist gripping tight while I move. Then after what seems like forever and yet only a bare moment of time, he snarls at me to exclaim, "AUGH! I can't take this anymore!" His hands bring me down to him to devour my mouth with his, then he's flipping us around so I'd be under him should we lay back down completely. His thrusting against me is hard and demanding, my eyes going wide at the sensation of his heat sliding in my tightness to stretch and fill me. I give a loud groan as he starts going faster, my hands gripping his shoulders as he moves. I warn him on hard grunts of air, "Jushiro! Don't cause an episode for yourself!" But his growl is of other concerns as he says, "It'll be worth it! I don't care if I drown in red afterwards! I've every intention of drowning in you first!" I shiver and then yelp as his thrusting gets frantic, my own pace moving as close to in time as I can muster as he crushes his mouth to mine. Then he goes rigid as he shouts into my mouth, his salt filling me as his back arches to tremble all over. He goes limp as I twist us so we both lay next to each other, my laughter resounding through the air as I hug him tight. His heart thunders in his chest and I smile at the sound, the hard thumping in his ribs making me shiver as his hands come to rest at my neck. "Ah! That was-" I smile as I nuzzle my head to his front. "I know. Your welcome, beloved. I'm very glad you enjoyed all that." But his words say other wise as he says to me,"A little too much. Megan, I'm so sorry. I didn't even take your pleasures into consideration when I took over. That was very selfish of me to do to you. Forgive me." I laugh as I continue to nuzzle my head to his heart. "Don't apologize, Jushiro. This result is exactly what I wanted, I wasn't even really thinking of myself. I wanted to give you pleasure, and I'm quite sure this stickyness running down my legs is proof you enjoyed that. Granted that could very well be red, since my hymen is most likely ripped now. But you have nothing to be sorry for. Giving you love is what I enjoy most of all. I would wrap a bow around my heart to place in your open hands if only to please you." His laugh shakes his frame as he says, "That would leave quite a mess everywhere, even more than what I tend to do. Quite a romantic prospect, to hold your heart as it beats in my keeping against my fingers. Though I might accidentally lose hold of it, considering how hard your heart tends to race under my care." I burst out laughing. "So true! Kind of like what yours is doing now?" His fingers lace through my hair as he chuckles, "Indeed. But it's a wonderous sensation to feel such vibrant and long absent joy. Thank you my beloved child of light, you gift me with more radiance than I ever believed possible." I laugh at this admission, then I wrap both legs around him to give him a wicked grin. "You're welcome. Now how about we do that again?" He blinks a few times, then he smirks and says to me, "We definitely aren't leaving this house in the morning."

- cut off of part 2 -

I spend all night in what feels like a dream of paradise, making love to the man I have given all of my heart and soul to. Ukitake does the same and matches me in my passion for the rest of the night. We spend hours reveling in each other and what the other enjoys, the night giving way to dawn by the time we both pass out in exhaution. But our smiles are ones of sated bliss, the two of us in each others embrace as we sleep in contentment. I find upon waking that Ukitake has been up for a bit, his side of the futon cooled slightly as I stretch and yawn. My grin is wide as I look about for my beloved, noting he's sitting out on the porch overlooking the yard where the bonsai trees sway slightly in the breeze. I almost call out to him, then I note how stiff and straight he's sitting. My hackles raise considerably at the sight, his sigh full of swirling emotions as he turns to look over at me. He notes I'm awake with tears in his eyes, and my own go wide for me to ask, "Jushiro? What is it? What happened?" Ukitake blinks for the tears in the corner of his eyes to trek down his face, his words aching as he tells me, "There was a letter sent this morning. Though it was addressed to you, I opened it anyways." He holds out a crumpled piece of paper, my feet taking my wait for me to run over and snatch it. "Why would you get upset about-" The I look at the letter and see the name on the bottom, making me freeze in total shock. "Oh my Lord God Almighty. No wonder you're upset. I guess Brad didn't make it through the car crash after all." Ukitake nods to note, "Captain Kurotsuchi mentioned to his entire squad your attendance to the meeting yesterday. Which got one of his more seclusive subordinates highly agitated. This young man has been doing extensive research on multiple studies since he joined that squad around the same time you made it into squad three. Apparently, Captain Kurotsuchi thinks very highly of him and his work." I give a nod automatically to state, "Brad has always loved exploring pursuits of the mind. It's why he's so damn knowledgable about any and every subject. Also why he has chronic insomnia, his brain just doesn't have an off switch." I close my eyes as tears drift down my face, the letter getting wet as I say, "I really hoped that he made it... I never wanted to think he was lost to such a horrific event..." Ukitake places a hand on my shoulder to tell me, "You need to read that." I nod to start reading, my eyes streaming as I hear Brad's voice in my head as my gaze drifts over the words. "Megan. I heard about your presence at the Captains meeting today. I can't believe that you're here and I never knew about it until now. Though I should take some blame for that, being holed up amidst all these books and projects I can't tear myself away from. But I still have to ask why you didn't try to find me? Was it that you believed I didn't follow behind you? I know it wasn't because you don't care. Your final words that day still ring in my head, though I'm certain you didn't hear my own before it all ended. I'm sorry that my words were so hurtful, that all you recieved from me was anger and bitterness before it all came to a halt. It was wrong for me to lash out at you for a problem that was not your fault. I want to know that you are all right, that you have been happy and well these years that we've been apart. I also find that I need to know that you are now in good hands, if only so that I can make peace with our parting. I'd enjoy getting to hear from you, if only to know how you are. I wish we could have had more time, that we hadn't wasted so much of what we were given. The fights, the empty nights of silence, the months we spent separated from each other out of anger and self pity. I need to know if there's even a remote chance that you still hold love for me still. You were right in that there would come a day when I would miss all the times you said you loved me. I ache to hear such again, if only for one last time. I won't ask for more than that, not if you truly intend to marry this man that has captured your attentions. Please get in touch with me, if only so I might know with certainty where we both stand. Please get back with me, Brad."

I read the letter three times, my eyes leaking as Ukitake comes up behind me to hug me tight. His entire body is shaking, and I know full well the reason why. So my words come as a surprise to him when I state, "Oh Jushiro. Do you really think I would go back to a past promise like that, when such would ruin all I have recieved from you and what I have given to you in turn?" Ukitake goes stock still, his words full of shock as he says, "What?! Does that mean that you won't go back to him?! You plan to stay here with me?! You can't be serious, Megan! He's your husband!" I give a hard sigh as I correct him. "Has was my husband, Jushiro. Our vows were until death do us part. We both died, and we were then parted. It doesn't get more final than that. I will not go back to a past relationship when such feelings and memories have shifted to a different place inside of me. It wouldn't be for the right reasons if I did such, and I will not make such an evident mistake in doing so. Yes, I do love Brad. A part of me always will. He was my first real love, and will always have that place in my heart. But I will not go backwards to discard all I have become in the meantime. Not when I have been blessed with so much, not when I have you most of all." I toss the letter away from me to bring my hands over his, their shaking in mine evident as I place them over my heart. "I am yours now, Jushiro Ukitake. This life I have now, this heart that you touch, all that I am is now yours. I have made my choice, and such will not change. Not even for this one whom I valued so dearly. Even if we were not together as we are now, I would not go back to Brad as if we never parted. Too much has happened between then and now for me to just pick back up where we left off like nothing happened. I am no longer just who I was when I died, as I'm very certain he is no longer just who he was when I knew him. No, I won't go back to a relationship that ended long ago. My choice is made, I won't be swayed now. As far as I'm concerned, we are already wed from giving ourselves to each other when we made love. I am to be yours, in every concieveable way." Ukitake grips tight to my front as I lean into his embrace, my head tilting back to rest against his shouder as he leans down to do the same. "Megan! Beloved! I can't believe what I'm hearing! You're certain?! This isn't something to take lightly! It's much more complicated than just-" I start laughing really hard, the sound cutting him off as I tell him, "Oh good grief, Jushiro. It's as hard or as easy as I want to make it. I made my choice, and that's all there is to it. I will let Brad know of my reasonings when I get in touch with him. I will give him his answer in all my honesty, but my words and reasonings will be the same as what I've said to you. If he really has that much of an issue with my choice after I've written him, he can always get off his ass and come see me. But even then it won't change anything, it'll only result in us shouting at each other again for me to make my point. It's his problem if he can't deal with my choice, not mine. The only way it will be my problem is if I have to smack him with the sheathe of my zanpakuto to get the message across." Ukitake hugs me really tight, his air coming in hard drags as he says, "You make it sound so simple." I lean into his touch to lift a hand to his head. "It is simple. I made my choice. So now the rest of you can learn to accept it or get over it." Ukitake gives a choked sob as he holds me, his words barely audible to my hearing as he breathes, "You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. I've been up for hours agonizing over the idea that you'd leave. Megan, I've waited countless centuries for what you have given me. I'd never be able to find such again, not if you were to leave. Thank you, with all of my heart. I am the most blessed man in all of existence to have you for my own." I turn myself in his hold to press myself to his front, lacing my hands into his hair to then kiss him deeply. My legs wrap around his waist as he shivers and gasps at my boldness, my teeth nipping at his bottom lip as I give a sultry growl against his mouth. "Don't sell yourself so blasted short, Jushiro. Now get your clothes back off and take us to our bed, I'm thinking a recap of last night is very sorely needed."

The day is then wasted on revisiting what was explored during the sway of night, until we both collapse in the futon once more after enjoying a bath that lasts far longer than the hot water. Our laughter echoes over the room as Ukitake hugs me tight, my eyes closing as I hug him back. Soon enough, he drifts off to sleep in my arms, making me kiss him lightly before I get back up and dressed. I go to my desk to write him a simple letter, then I grab my zanpakuto and am off to Research and Development. My steps do not waver as I make my way there, my certainty in my decision dispelling my usual fears as I head into the building. Captain Kurotsuchi is very surprised when I walk into his lab, though he guesses why right off the bat. "So then. I take it you're here to give him an answer? Good, he hasn't been able to get any work done. I expect you to get his head back on straight. I simply cannot have my best researcher in such a mess right now." I give a loud sigh to say to him, "Hi to you too. You need reprogramming in your etiquette chip. Where's he holed up?" Kurotsuchi gives an amused snort to point to a corridor. "At least you aren't intimidated as easily as before. Just get his mind back on task, it's actually depressing to see him like this when we actually do walk down there to see if he's finished anything." I nod to head down the corridor, finding my way rather easily. The room I come into is either a barracks or a library, though I can't really tell from all the bookshelves and lab equipment. I give a warm chuckle at this fact, not the least bit surprised. In the corner is a rather large computer with books stacked all over a large desk slash work station, the man in the chair typing in a frenzy. I use our old signal and rap my knuckles on the desk as I walk up to him, so he knows there's someone behind him and won't lash out or jump in surprise. Brad goes stock still as I rap my way up to him, my hand reaching out to touch his shoulder and whisper in his ear, "Hi." Brad gives a choked noise to bring his chair around to face me, his eyes full of tears as he takes me in. He looks much the same as before, stick thin with a head of unruly black hair. But his eyes are different, making me ask him, "You switch your eyeballs out?" He nods as those now bronze colored eyes leak, his hands reaching up to grip my shoulders. I pull him up out of his chair for us to hug, his grip crushing as he chokes, "I didn't even think you'd answer my letter! Megan! I've never been more glad to see you! I missed you so very much!" I hug him back eagerly, my eyes watering as I whisper, "I really wanted to believe you made it... I didn't want for you to follow behind me..." Brad nods in understanding, his hands gripped tight to my frame as he tells me, "I made it to the hospital. But then they told me you were already dead before they got us out of the car. The news was just too hard for me to take, my system gave out during surgery not but a few hours later." I flinch and hug him tight, my eyes streaming as I tell him, "Brad. I'm so sorry for all that we left unfinished. I have begged the Lord for some way to make penance. I hope that my coming here will help." Brad shakes his head vehemently to tell me, "Don't! It was as much my fault as anything. We both made mistakes, we both were stupid, just leave it at that."

I nod as he pulls back to look at me, my sigh hard as I tell him, "Agreed then. But you look like you've been making your time here count." Brad gives me a smile that show in his eyes as well, something that is very rare as he tells me in excitement, "And I'm not anywhere near to being done! There's just so much to do! I can't remember ever having so much to study or explore in!" I grin back at this news, his excitement contagious. "I'm very happy to hear that. Plus your captain says you are his best. Granted, it's what I would expect from your level of committment. But I'm so happy that you are excelling in your passions." Brad gives me a warm look, then notes what I said. "Megan, I need to ask you. Are you happy? I mean, really happy?" I nod and sit him down so I can sit across from him on the desk, my words warm and yet sad. "Yes I am Brad. I have found both joy and contentment. It took a ton of effort, and it was very hard to piece myself back together. But I have all I could ever ask for. I am so glad to see that you are doing just as well, if not better than what you once were." Brad gets a hard look on his face, and he pieces it together in the next second. "So I don't stand any chance at us picking back up where we left off..." I shake my head. "We swore until death, and that already happened. We are no longer just what we were before we came here, Brad. I am much changed, as are you. I'm not about to hold you to an oath we made in another life time." Brad takes my hand as his shakes, and his words waver just as badly. "Does this mean you-" I cut him off automatically. "Never! Don't you dare even entertain the idea!" I grip his hand tight as I explain, "I love you, Brad. I always will. But what we had is over. It holds no real place in what we are now and what each of us has become. You are no longer that man, as I have also changed. So trying to fit ourselves back into that mold just to renew and old version of us is pointless. I will not renew a promise that would do more harm than good. I do not expect you to hold onto such either. I want you to pursue your own happiness. Whether it be here in your work, or if it was still in the Living World, or anywhere you may go. Move forward, and know that I will always be grateful for what we were given. I am your wife no longer, just as you are no longer my husband. As such, go your own way, and I hope you find much joy in the journey ahead." Brad gives a long sigh to put his head in his hands and kneel forwards. He stays like that for a moment in thought, but then nods in understanding. "It makes sense when you say it that way. Though the idea that I'll never make my promises to you come true are really crushing." I put my hand on his shoulder and say, "You gave me more than enough. Think no more of it. Let it go and be content with what we had." Brad looks back up at me, and his words are warm. "You meant what you said then... It wasn't just to make me feel better... Every word was really true..." I nod as he holds my hands, his sigh full of resolution. "Thank you, Megan. I really needed this. I've been so at odds over every detail. I was about to go crazy." I give him a snickered, "I thought you already were." He smiles at the pun, his hands squeezing mine tight. "I take it then I should congratulate you." I smirk at this idea. "Nah. I actually expected you to start shouting at me to get your anger out. You have changed." He nods to state. "I have, though I still can't seem to sleep. At least not in bed. I tend to pass out right here."

I laugh as he gets up and gives me a hug, his sigh in my ear making me tighten my hold on him. "Just try to be happy, Megan. That's all I really want for you. If you can do that, then I'll do the same." I nod at this to whisper in his ear, "Be sure you take those two girls out that kept glaring at me then. It's clear they feel threatened by my presence." He sighs again to state, "You're throwing me at the other women already?! I really don't have a chance then, do I?" I shake my head at this. "Nope. I won't go backwards after all I've gained in going forwards, Brad. It would be wrong to do so. Right?" Brad nods. "Right. I understand. Will you at least come to see me on and off? Please?" I nod and place a loving kiss to his lips,his grip on me tightening slightly. I break away after a couple seconds, his sigh of both sadness and acceptance. I tell him truthfully, "I'll always hold love for you, my first husband. That will never change. So do try to pry yourself out of your work long enough to write to me at the very least." He nods to hug me tight, his hand in my hair shaking slightly. "I will. It's the least I can do. Would you like to meet somewhere for a meal sometime? Just to catch up? I'd love to tell you about some of the things I've been doing." I nod to hug him tight. "Sure. I have quite a few stories to tell myself. In any event let's-" I am then interrupted by a soft voice in the corridor. "Excuse me. But Master Maiyuri has need of the Eighth seat of squad thirteen." I'm not at all surprised that it's Lieutenant Nemu Kurotsuchi, Brad raising an eyebrow when I automatically shiver. I give a hard sigh to ask, "I take it he wants me on his table now since I stopped by?" The Lieutenant nods for Brad to go wide eyed, looking at me as I tell him. "It's nothing invasive. Just answering a bunch of quetions after he sticks nodes to my head. It's pretty much his mild past time." Brad twitches slightly as Nemu walks over to take my hand automatically, her voice neutral as she says, "Please come this way." Brad clamps a hand on my other arm to exclaim, "Hang on a minute! Why is she of any interest to the Captain?!" Nemu blinks from what I register as surprise, my sigh warm as I smile. "He wants to know about my autism and such, that's all. I already told him the moment he sticks a need or scalpel in me is the second Gin comes over here to ruin his lab and his insides." Brad goes stock still to ask me, "What?! You mean you really are close with Captain Ichimaru?!" I nod to laugh really hard. "He reminds me of you with his off brand of humor, actually." I look to nemu to ask her, "Is it okay if Brad comes along?" She nods to start walking me out of the room, Brad grabbing a large folder before lacing his one hand in mine. It only takes us a short bit of time to get back into the main lab, Captain Kurotsuchi turning around to give a grin. "Well! It would seem her influence did make some small difference! Color me intrugued!" I snicker at him to note in amusement, "This should mean i start running now. You taking interest in something usually involves either a scalpel or lens to fry it. I'm half tempted to start flast stepping five seconds ago." Captain Kurotsuchi gives a snicker at my jest, his Lieutenant leading me over to the table for me to sit. He keeps his gaze on me as he states, "Even when you're scared of me, you have such humorous one liners. You do take after your old Captain with your unorthodox sense of sarcasm." I jab a thumb at Brad to say right off the bat, "Blame him, he had a longer time influencing me that Gin has." Captain Kurotsuchi raises and eyebrow as Brad walks over, brad handing him the folder to say, "Here's the information you requested, Captain." Captain Kurotsuchi nods to set it on his desk, waving his hand at Brad in obvious dismissal. But Brad tells him, "I'm not leaving her here alone with you, sir. I request to assist you in this."

Both the Lieutenant and Captain go wide eyed to stare at him, my laugh rich and warm. "HAH! I think you two need a refresher on a few basic emotions and traits." Captain Kurotsuchi gives an agitated sigh to nod absently. "Fine, as long as this doesn't botch the results." Captain Kurotsuchi sits down at the computer to start typing, his Lieutenant bringing over the machine with the nodes and monitors for my head. Brad takes the nodes from her to gently put them on me, her look of surprise showing as she tells her absently as he works, "You should calibrate that." She nods to kneel down and do so, Brad's fingers placing the nodes with care on my head. I relax instantly as he works, his presence settling my fears instantly as he then finishes. Brad then opens my kimono slightly to attach the nodes for the heart monitor, his fingers halting at my collar. I snicker and ask him, "What? You've already seen me naked, it hasn't changed much." Brad gives a growl to then smile at the jest, opening my kimono to then go wide eyed. "Holy shit... Megan... Is that..?!" The Lieutenant looks up at him for the Captain to do the same, Brad starting to shake as his gaze is locked on the mark on my chest. I take his hand and squeeze it a moment, my words warm and assuring as I tell him, "Yeah. That's where I got skewered. Brad, look at me." Brad lifts his now bronze colored eye to mine, and I tell him witha smile, "It's okay. Don't linger in what happened, at least not for too long." I lean up to put my head to his as I hug him tight, his arms coming around me as I say, "I'm right here. I'm okay. Nothing to freak out over." Brad nods to give a hard sigh, then he starts poking me all over. I squeak and start slapping at his hands, our laughter filling the room as the Captain grumbles at the desk. "of course she can't take this seriously. Would you hurry up so we can start?" Brad gently places the nodes to my chest at this bit, his fingers reaching up to my neck to place a kiss to my head before I lay back down. Captain Kurotsuchi has Brad monitor the equipment as he asks me a bunch of seemingly random questions. I first answer with whatever comes to mind, to then take a few moments and then answer again. This goes on for over an hour by my count, my yawning apparent by the end for the Captain to scoff at me. "I take it you and Captain Ichimaru were up all night with those odd video games again? I swear the youth is wasted on the young." I choose to avoid the question when I yawn again and say absently, "Since when do you care what anyone does when not under your magnifying glass?" Captain Kurotsuchi gives a derisive snort of a noise, getting up to walk over and shake a finger in my face. "I am quite fed up with your flippant comments, young lady! You need to show more respect to your superiors! I have half a mind to-" I Snicker and cut him off to say "Mumbly mumbly mumbly." Brad bursts out laughing the same time I do, the old joke between us making us crack up and Captain Kurotsuchi fumes at us both. "Oh not that again! I expected as much from her, but not from my own subordinate! Just what exactly is that about?!" I wipe a few tears from my eyes as I keep laughing. "It's from a movie we saw with my family a while back. The whole movie was hillarious, so we tend to say our favorite one liners. That includes lines from movies and tv shows and games we both have seen." Brad nods to hold his side as he keeps laughing, his smile full of humor as Lieutenant Kurotsuchi blinks at him.

- cut off point of part 3 -  
>"I really hate being right sometimes, I really do..." I move forward to take in all the dead bodies of the members of Central 46, each one having been slain a few days ago by the indication of the dried red that's sprayed everywhere. I give a shiver to exclaim, "Dear Lord, there's blood everywhere! And they didn't even put up a fight! Just who could do all this without any of them even lifting a finger to stop such carnage?!" I unsheathe my zanpakuto to get into a defensive stance, inching forward as I grip the hilt tight. "Oh Lord help me, I really wish I'd brought Izuru or Gin for backup! This is so many different shades of scary, but I have to find Momo! Now where is she?!" I get to the next doorway, and I look down to see another body. But this one is fresh, and it's someone I know. I go wide eyed to gape at the shinigami in front of me, my eyes leaking as I shout in horror, "MOMO!" I kneel down to help her, my hands pressed to her wound to pour healing kido into her as I pray, "Oh Lord Jesus, please don't let me be too late! Momo! Hang on! I'm gonna get you out of here! Oh God! What happened?! Who would do this to you?! MOMO! SAY SOMETHING! MOMO!" Her eyes are unfocused and she lays like dead weight in my lap, my eyes streaming as I try to help her. Then I hear someone behind me, and I grip my zanpakuto with one hand to turn myself towards the noise. Imagine my surprise when it's a shinigami I was told was dead, my eyes going wide to say in shock, "...Captain Aizen?!" Then I see the red all over his front and the pieces click together to paint a grisly truth. I clench my teeth and snarl with vehemence, "Yeshuah, Mirium, and Yosef! No wonder she didn't put up a fight against her attacker! It was YOU! It's been you this whole time! The execution orders from Central 46! Your apparent death and the letter Momo believed! This whole thing was you jerking us around like puppets on strings! I take it a few of the other Captains helped you with this eloquent performance of guignol?!" Aizen smiles as he tells me in a casual manner, "You've a way with words, Eighth Seat Megan. Yes, Captain Tosen and Captain Ichimaru helped considerably. They have been helping me for centuries." I jerk at this like he slapped me in the face, but I keep my eyes on him as I growl out, "Rooks and bishops where the rest of us play as simpler pawns! I get the feeling those two are just as disposable to you as the girl in my lap?! I'd figure that you'd want Momo and her copious skills in kido with you instead of descecrating her like this! Yet you ruined her in every way possible! Such sins will have you burn in Hell, Aizen!" He frowns at me to note, "Shouldn't you be addressing me as Captain, Eighth Seat Megan?" I scoff at this to exclaim with all my rage and fury, "I'll call you by no such title, if anything I'd rename you Yehuda or the more commonly know Judas! The only thing I will do is stand against you and your minions, you traitorous narscisist!" Then someone comes up behind me to intone, "Really, Megan? Even me?" I grab Momo and flashstep out of the path of Ichimaru's strike, laying her next to me to then glare at him as my eyes continue to stream. "It would seem you'd rather stab first and get your answer never, Gin. But the twisted knife of your betrayal is answer in itself. I take I'm just as disposable and worthless to you, that insignificant after all we've given to the other? Tell me now, my brother in all but blood! I demand the truth, my souls equal! Look me in the eyes and tell me it was all a lie!" His smile is not on his face as he points his zanpakuto at me, his frown evident as Ichimaru tells me, "Far from it. This wasn't what I wanted by any means. In actuality, I wanted to bring you with us when we did this. But then you accepted Captain Ukitake's offer and left my squad, only to tie yourself to him permanently with his marriage proposal. I honestly didn't want to have to kill you, Megan. I wanted you for myself, to enjoy you at my leisure like we were before." His words are intoned the same as always, like we were holding a normal conversation between us. The thought is grievous, making me tremble as I tell him, "Oh Gin, you know full well that wasn't going to happen. I'd never have gone along with this, not even for you. It betrays everything that I am, you would have had to kill me if only to keep me from sounding the alarm. I wish with all my heart and soul that you'd never have been a part of this. I've never wanted to lose you in such a deplorable way. Even so, that doesn't mean I will let you walk away without suffering consequences for this defection!" His gaze never leaves mine as he notes, "Do you really think yourself able to make me pay for my sins, my amusing mouse? You know you can't win against me, let alone two Captains. What are you, other than easily outmatched?"<p>

I ramp my spiritual power all the way up, my reiatsu exploding around me as my eyes glow and I lift off the ground. Both of them go wide eyed as I shout, "You know full well who and what I am, Gin Ichimaru! I am the Eighth Seat of squad 13, beloved of Captain Jushiro Ukitake, and a child of the Lord God Almighty! I don't care if I don't even make a dent in either of you! I'm not going to let this stand without giving all I have against you both! BANKAI!" The both of them go bug eyed as I intone, "Gleam in radiant abundance! Mamoru no Hiroaki!" My reiatsu gleams bright all around me, changing my clothes to that of an armored shrine maiden with wings of an angel's bearing. My zanpakuto shifts to that of a beautiful great staff, the twin kodachi at my waist hitching to my belt. I draw the kodachi as the greatstaff hovers next to me, the bells along my frame chiming as I move. I take my offensive stance to snarl, "I warned you, Gin! Now you pay!" I charge as he brings his sword up to defend, but then his form is replaced with Ukitake's. I rotate my attack to use my great staff instead of my kodachi, getting my love in the diaphramn and red goes blooming. The illusion shifts back as Ichimaru coughs more red, and I block a strike from what I think is Aizen with the kodachi. Then the ice cracks around me and I realize what's going on as I exclaim, "Oh great!" I swipe away the ice and Captain Hitsugaiya in turn with shards of light from my kodachi, pressing my advantage against Ichimaru. But I barely slice him open before the blow at my blind spot rams into me. I go down hard, Captain Hitsugaiya glaring down at me as his blade pierces my abdomen and through my spine. I scream as he twists the blade, his fury evident as he snarls at me, "AIZEN! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!" He grips the blade and I know he's going to cleave me in half, then his eyes focus to go wide. "What?! But I thought- Oh no! Just what have I done?!" I start coughing really hard, his eyes going wider when he recognizes me and I growl out, "Illusionary hypnosis, same happened when I went for Gin! Aizen's probably manipulating-" Then I see Ichimaru shoot his blade at Hitsugaiya, and I knock him away from the path of the blade with my great staff. Ichimaru gets me good, the blade going through my chest to perforate my lung as Gin actually goes wide eyed in horror at the sight. My air hitches as I cough and red runs from my mouth and nose freely, the pain lacing through every fiber of my being as I give a desperate prayer for what I truly need to do and what I must protect. I reach out for Ukitake's spirit ribbon, my fingers lacing in it's material as I steel myself to fight until the end. I gag to then pull Hitsugaiya's sword out of me and toss it to him, touching my great staff to Ichimaru's blade and using lightning kido. I shoot it with all I can through the blade and we both get zapped, Ichimaru giving a shout as I scream before falling over next to Momo. Ichimaru coughs, his laugh strained as he tells me, "Even now you surprise me, Megan. You aren't pulling your punches one bit. You really did mean it when you said you'd slice me from fangs to tail." I cough and put my great staff to Momo's chest, continuing my healing of her since I can't fight anymore. My great staff spreads the healing through her with precise control, it's purpose to heighten my use of kido as I choke out, "Of course Gin... I love you too much... to ever do otherwise..."

Ichimaru stops dead right overtop of me, his expression frozen in what I note from knowing him so very well as shock. I cough red and look up at him to tell him, "Gin... I never said... I would stop loving you... I never said... your place in my heart... would ever be forfeit..." He gives a slight shiver as I gag and choke, his eyes swirling with a mix of what I recognize as guilt and sorrow in the depths of blue. I put myself in front of Momo to shield her, healing her as best I can while I say, "Old proverb... Hate the sin... Love the sinner... Gin... Just don't ruin my corpse... Don't hurt Jushiro in that way... Please..." But his words are ice cold as he sighs at me. "Oh Megan, you know full well snakes devour their prey whole." I nod at this truth as my world starts going white along the edges of my vision. "I know Gin... Be kind then... and aim for my heart...Unless you plan on... ripping it free... to replace yours at last..." Gin hesitates at my words, so I grab one of my kodachi and stab behind me. He deflects the blade to turn me around and pin me to the floor, the swipe of my blade frantic as he stabs down in retaliation. My vision is blurred from tears and the creeping white, my attack going wide to lace over his face. His own blade strikes true to come to a halt to barely pierce my sternum, his advance halting for the slowing beat of my heart to drift up through his blade. His fingers twitch over the hilt as my heart skips under his touch, hot water landing on my face as he whispers over me for my hearing alone. "Oh Megan... I swear to you... I never wanted this..." I cough red as my air rattles in my chest, my vision fixing on Ichimaru. His eyes leak tears as his hands start shaking, his gaze never leaving mine as my eyes start glazing over. I choke out more red as I hear Lieutenant Isane give a shout in horror, using my last bit of air to scream, "AIZEN'S USING HYPNOSIS!" Then I go limp, my bankai dissolving for my zanpakuto to fall from my fingers. I keep my gaze to Ichimaru's blue eyes, expecting him to pierce my heart or open me up to take it's failing beat for himself. Yet he removes his blade instead, giving a sigh before saying in his usual drawl, "Such a pity. I'll send your best to your fiance when next I see him. So tragic, that Captain Ukitake should become a widower before the actual wedding. Farewell to you, my amusing mouse. I would have enjoyed making you mine." Ichimaru flash steps away from me as Aizen notes, "Did you finish her?" Gin gives him a snickered, "Do I seem the type to bother killing a half dead woman? She can't even see or feel anymore, what fun is there in that?" Aizen notes this answer to say, "Hmm. In any event, we shall take our leave now. Perhaps you might yet save the other two, Captain Unohana." Hands come over my front the moment they flash step away, Unohana saying to me, "Oh Megan. I have you now. Don't give up on us. Please keep fighting. For Jushiro. Please, hang on." Her healing laces through my chest, the power of her kido washing over me in abundance. But I know this sensation, I've felt it before and I know full well that it's over. Then my world goes completely white as my heart stops beating and I die for a second time.

*****

Ukitake feels my fingers lace through his spirit ribbon, halting his stand off with Head Captain Yamamoto as his eyes go wide. "Megan?! You-" Then my spiritual pressure wavers as my wounded condition becomes apparent, his eyes going as wide as allowed to shout, "No...! NO! MEGAN! NO!" Kyoraku has the same look of horror on his face, turning to where they sense my spiritual pressure bleeding away as he says, "Not good...! Not good! I thought that you told her to stay in the Ugendo?!" Ukitake nods to exclaim, "I DID!" Head Captain Yamamoto notes, "Then why would your Eighth Seat go to the Central 46 building, Jushiro? And why would her going there mean such an evident assault? What enemy is there to bring to her such harm of this magnitude?" Ukitake reaches out for my spirit ribbon in earnest as he shakes his head in confusion, gripping his fingers tight in it's material to note the ribbon is frayed and coming apart. His eyes stream as the sensation of my life ebbing away laces through him, his voice pleading as he begs, "No! Why is this happening?! Oh Shunsui, she's dying! I can feel it!" Head Captain Yamamoto lowers the flames of Ryujin Jakka as he too notes my energy fade. Ukitake grips my ribbon tight as it starts to rip, the very pace of my failing heart drifting through the strands as he chokes, "No, Megan! Please! Hang on for me! We have to-" Then his eyes dialate as my heart stops beating, my spirit ribbon falling away under his fingers as I die. His knees hit the dirt as he trembles all over, all his horror and anguish soaked in every word. "No... Megan... Her heart... Her heart stopped... She- She's- NO!" Head Captain Yamamoto and Kyoraku go wide eyed as Ukitake tilts his head al the way back and screams, his agony all consuming as he gives all his air in his cry to then kneel forwards in the dirt. He shudders and chokes in evident anguish, gripping his swords so tight his fingers pierce his skin to draw red. Kyoraku grips his own swords tight, his own misery evident as he tells his best friend, "I know, Jushiro. I felt it too. She's gone..." Head Captain Yamamoto lowers his blade as Kyoraku curses in barely held fury, "Damn it all! Just what is going on?! Why would this happen?! There isn't supposed to be anything in Central 46! Nothing should be there for Megan to even be harmed! And yet she was fighting for her life only to lose it! Old man Yama, this can't mean anything good! It's not right! There's no reason for her to die like this!" Then the voice of Lieutenant Isane laces over the air as she alerts them all of the betrayal of Captain Aizen. Her words are curt as she explains the situation, going over my battle and defeat briefly to make Ukitake choke again in grief. She says that all those that were injured are with Captain Unohana as she takes them to the coordinated relief station for emergency surgery. Her last words are for all Captains and Lieutenants to head for Sogyoku Hill immediately, in order to confront Aizen. Head Captain Yamamoto looks down as Ukitake shakes, Kyoraku just as upset as he asks, "Well?! Are we just gonna stand here and let him do what he wants, old man Yama?!" Yamamoto turns at this question to lead the way, his anger rolling off his frame in silent fury. "Absolutely not! Let us go and confront this traitor in our midst!" All three of them nod as they head out, Ukitake growling as Kyoraku takes his arm. "I am going to kill them both for ever daring to harm her! There won't be a shred of them left once I'm done!" Kyoraku nods, then they're off to head straight for Sogyoku Hill.

But they make little difference as Aizen and his cohorts escape with the aid of the Gillian, Ichimaru giving a parting shot as he grins down at Ukitake. "Teaching Megan bankai. You two have been quite busy, haven't you? She got me pretty good, I was rather impressed. Be sure to mention that when you bury her, since I made certain she wouldn't be getting back up." Ukitake jerks at this news for Aizen to note, "Now Gin. Megan did well. I'm honestly surprised she even stayed conscious when Hitsugaiya ran her through." Everyone flinches as Aizen smiles and gives a final farewell. "I'll be sure to send flowers for her grave." Then they depart with the Gillian, Ukitake roaring in fury as they escape. He goes down on one knee as he starts coughing and choking in vehemence, the squad four members arriving to tend to the wounded. One of them kneels down to heal Ukitake, but he grabs them by the front to growl out, "Where is my fiance?!" Third seat Yasochika Iemura places his hands tentatively on Ukitake's shoulders. "In surgery, sir. Captain Unohana started working on Megan right off since-" Ukitake grips Iemura by the collar, his snarl evident as he exclaims, "How is she?! I need to know! TELL ME!" Iemura flinches at this to tell him the news. "She's the worst of the three of them, sir. Megan was dead when they brought her into the relief station. Captain Unohana was trying to rescuscitate her when she brought Megan into surgery." Many of those present jerk as Ukitake trembles, his air coming in choked snarls as his lips drip red. "Her chances, curse it! Do they have any chance at saving her?!" Iemura helps Ukitake kneel down to start healing him. "Yes. Captain Unohana and Hanataro Yamada were in surgery with her when we all left. They got her heart beating again shortly after they started." Ukitake goes stock still to then immediately reach out again for my spirit ribbon, his shaking fingers gripping for the silk in earnest. My life is but a bare whisper to his senses as his fingers lace into the ribbon, but my heartbeat is there for him to note it's feathered pace. Ukitake shakes and gives a silent prayer of thanks for this miracle as the two squad four members heal him, his head lowered as he whispers, "Do they think she'll recover?" Iemura nods to exclaim with certainty, "Yes! Megan hasn't let go of her cross yet, it's still laced in her fingers as they help her. Hanataro made sure to put her ring from you on as well. The moment he did, her fingers twitched in his grip. Captain Unohana says her chances are very good. But she may not be the same even after they've finished." Ukitake shakes his head, his eyes streaming as he says, "It's enough... As long as she lives... It's more than enough... Shunsui..." Kyoraku nods to bring an arm over his shoulder. "Right. I gotcha. Thanks Iemura." Iemura gives them a curt salute before Kyoraku uses Shunpo to flash step them with all his speed to the coordinated relief station. The few squad members there try to tend to Ukitake, since red still drips from his mouth. But he waves them aside as he says, "Don't bother! Where's Megan?!" One of the nurses present leads them to a side room, her voice trembling slightly as she says, "They'll be bringing her in here once the surgery is finished. Captain Unohana and Hanataro have most of the damage and bleeding taken care of. But her recovery period will be a long while." Kyoraku sits Ukitake in the chair to look at the nurse. "How bad is it?" The nurse flinches slightly to tell them, "Well, the stab wound to her sternum didn't even pierce through the bone. Moderate burns to her hand from the lightning kido she used on Gin Ichimaru. But they had to remove some of her right lung from where-" Ukitake jerks hard at this point, his hand in his hair as he hisses through his teeth. But Kyoraku notes the growing frown on the nurse's face. "What else?" She fidgets to say, "The damage to her abdomen is the worst part, sir. Her spine was damaged along with the nerves in her spinal column. She'll have to have physical therapy most likely in order to walk again. But the worst is that... she might..."

The nurse hangs her head as she starts to tremble, her words lost to the room as Kyoraku gets up and leans in to hear. She repeats herself, and Kyoraku claps a hand to his mouth in shock. The nurse looks up with tears in her eyes to say, "It isn't a sure thing one way or the other. But it's still a possibility that... I'm so very sorry, Captain Kyoraku! I wish I could tell you for certain!" Kyoraku shakes his head to pat the nurse on her head. "Don't fret, little lady. Thank you for telling us, now go tend to those that need you." She nods to run out the door, Kyoraku looking at Ukitake in evident concern. Ukitake goes stock still, his eyes going wide as Kyoraku gives a hard sigh. "Shunsui...? What did she say...?" His gaze turns away, and the words he utters send Ukitake reeling. "Jushiro... Did you know Megan is pregnant?" Jushiro blinks a few times before his eyes go as wide as allowed to whisper, "...what?!" Kyoraku returns his gaze to his friend. "Eight or nine weeks by Retsu's guess. It's why Hanataro is helping. Retsu is healing Megan, while Hanataro tries to save the baby. But she's lost a lot of emniotic fluid, and the umbilical cord got nicked when Toshiro ran her through." Ukitake shivers as he whispers, "How bad is it?" Kyoraku sits next to Ukitake, wrapping a hand in his free one. "Retsu is having Hanataro buy as much time as possible for her to completely heal Megan's chest and spine, then she'll help Hanataro with the baby. If it comes down to Megan walking or the baby, they'll choose the baby as they well know both of you would want. But there's still a vague chance it'll be too little too late." Ukitake goes limp into the chair, his eyes unfocused as he sits there for a few moments in utter shock. Kyoraku gives him time to absorb it all, not in the least surprised when Ukitake starts sobbing. His eyes stream as he chokes out, "How much worse can this get?! How could this even happen, Shunsui?! Why would she leave the Ugendo when I ordered her to stay put?! What possessed her to go to the Central 46 building in the first place?!" Kyoraku shakes his head. "I have no idea. We both know she wouldn't have left without a very good reason. Especially when you didn't want her punished for helping us stay the execution." Ukitake nearly falls over out of the chair as Kyoraku helps steady him, the two best friends waiting for what feels like forever as they both grip tight to my spirit ribbon. Then another nurse comes in a few hours time, her frame leaning into the door as she says, "Pardon me, but I have news for you." The both of them get up as she comes forward, her face a bit nervous as she tells them, "They'll be bringing Megan out of surgery in five." Ukitake grips Kyoraku's hand tight as he asks, "The baby?!" The nurse gives a warm smile, easing their tension as she says, "Completely fine, along with your future wife and mother to be." Ukitake sways slightly as Kyoraku takes his arm, the both of them sighing in relief as the nurse continues. "Megan will have to be on bedrest for quite a while. She'll also have to be on ventilation for a bit, due to the damage to her lung and the risk of inflammation. Her stab wound over her sternum will leave but a scar. Her hand is easily treated, since the great staff was the conductor for her kido. We'll be putting a special monitor in once she's discharged, if only to make sure she's okay when you take her home. The worst is that she won't be walking without help for a good long while, if she ever does. But considering what a fighter Hanataro says she is, I'm sure she'll be fine even if she can't move about very well. He also told me it's unlikely Megan knew she was even pregnant. But she'll live for you to enjoy her and your little bundle for a long time, Captain Ukitake."

Ukitake gives her a grateful smile. "Thank you so much." She nods at this to tell him, "Thank Hanataro and Captain Unohana. Especially Hanataro, I've never seen him get so passionate over a patient before. But they'll be wheeling her in shortly. Due note, there's going to be a long road of recovery and therapy ahead for her. But Captain Unohana said that she may have an idea for that with one of the Ryoka helping. Captain Unohana is now in surgery with Lieutenant Hinamori, but Hanataro will be coming in with Megan to go over things in detail if you so wish." Kyoraku asks, "Is Momo gonna be okay?" The nurse gives a slight frown. "I'll be honest. It's not good, considering how badly Aizen stabbed her. But Megan made all the difference. Though the muscle tissue and such is extensive, her vitals are barely scathed after Megan healed her. Captain Unohana wants to give Megan advanced lessons with healing kido later on. But Lieutenant Hinamori should pretty much be in the clear after this, as should Captain Hitsugaiya. Whatever God Megan prays to must have been watching out for everyone today, I can't think of any other explination for no one dying during this debacle." Kyoraku smirks at this to tell her, "I'm sure she'll say as much when she comes to. But Megan does pray for everyone on a daily basis. Especially for you squad four members." The nurse raises and eyebrow at this. "You serious? I thought Hanataro was fibbing when he told me that." Ukitake nods. "From Head Captain Yamamoto to then include each squad of the Gotei 13 and every soul in every district. From those here in the Soul Society to those in the Living World. Granted, it isn't by every single name, but she includes those who she believes needs it most. Hence why she gives squad four an extra few moments of prayer, since she believes those that heal others are the caretakers of the future." The nurse goes a little flush. "Huh, I'll have to tell the others so we can get her something. Thanks for telling me that. But I'd better run, I'm scrubbing in for Captain Hitsugaiya's surgery." Kyoraku and Ukitake give her a bow for them to sigh again in evident relief after she leaves, Kyoraku tilting his hat to say, "I'm sure this is nothing short of a miracle, though the elation may pass once we remember Megan took such an evident gamble. But it's a good thing she did, or else this might have been a whole lot worse." Ukitake leans into Kyoraku to whisper, "She's alive, they're both alive, we didn't lose anybody today. That's all that matters, Shunsui." His grin breaks over his face as he tells Kyoraku, "I cannot believe this, Shunsui! We aren't even married yet, and our family is now including a plus one?!" Kyoraku snickers at this, "Well, there goes our nights of killing sake by the bottle." Kyoraku gives Ukitake a half hug as they both grin like fools. "Congrats, Jushiro. I'm so happy for you both."

A few moments later, I'm wheeled into the room by a few of the nurses along with a tired Hanataro smiling at them. "Good evening to you. Captain Ukitake. Captain Kyoraku." Ukitake walks up to take the hand with my ring in his right away, stroking the hair from my face as Kyoraku says, "Evening. How's the patient?" Hanataro gives a wide grin. "She fought well, both on the battlefield and in the operating room. As did the little one, it's obvious they don't know when to give up. I was worried at first, but Captain Unohana and I were able to stabilize her and the baby after a bit. Her left hand is pretty badly burned, hence why it took so long to repair her chest from the kido she used. She'll be wearing a breathing mask for quite a while, along with her legs not wanting to work without some serious therapy. But Captain Unohana said one of the Ryoka may be able to fix that to a much more manageable level. Lieutenant Isane went to ask for their assistance right away once we got out of the operating room. The baby is completely fine, the only complication down the line will be the fact she lost a lot of emniotic fluid. Hence the prolonged bedrest we're going to have her adhere to." Kyoraku laughs at this idea of me sitting still to muse, "Oh she's going to hate that! I don't think I've seen her sit still yet!" Hanataro laughs lightly to tell him, "I have, Captain Kyoraku. Just stick a pile of books in front of her and she'll stay in her seat indefinitely. Granted, you have to remind her to eat when you do that, but it's a sure proof way to get her to stay put." Ukitake places a kiss to my head, his words full of relief. "Thank you so much, Hanataro. You have no idea how grateful I am to you. I am forever in your debt." Hanataro shifts slightly at the praise, but his gaze looks to me as a warm smile plays over his face. "You are most welcome, Captain Ukitake. I am happy to have been able to give back a little of what Megan has so graced me with in our friendship. I knew she'd make it out okay. She'd never let anyone take her from you for any reason, Captain Ukitake." Ukitake looks up at Hanataro at this, Hanataro telling him, "Megan may place others before herself, but it is you whom she has placed first. I can't tell you how many times she's written some poem or short story about you to read to me. She's loved you for quite a long time, Captain Ukitake. Though her past has always chained her to self doubt over how much worth she truly holds." Ukitake and Kyoraku frown at this, Ukitake asking Hanataro, "What do you mean?" Hanataro gives a slight sigh. "Has she told you about her youngest years in private school?" Ukitake shakes his head. "Not very much, only that she was bullied and had no real friends. At least until she moved to a whole new town miles away from anyone that knew her." Hantaro walks forward to take my other hand with my cross still laced in my grip. "She only told me once, and that was because she wanted to confide in how she knew what it was like to be an outcast. They had a nickname for her at that school. 'The freak' is what they called her, one who has no right to exist."

Ukitake goes wide eyed as Kyoraku flinches slightly, Hanataro telling them both my most well kept secret. "She was bullied constantly, whether it was her classmates or the older students. The only friend she ever made moved away and they never saw each other again, but she was a constant target for ridicule and hate. On the good days, the other students would simply exclude her. The bad days involved getting pelted with rocks and being beaten with sticks or tripped down the stairs in hopes she'd break her neck. And this is just what she told me, there's things I'm sure she'll never confess to anyone. None of the teachers she asked for help did anything to protect her, and after a few years she came to believe they were right in telling her she was worthless. Every kid around her age openly shunned her and made her feel like trash, for most of her childhood. That's the real reason she hates looking in a mirror, Captain Ukitake. It was never the scars from the car crash, it was the ones no one can see that are evident to her in her own reflection." Ukitake grips my hand tight to openly stare at Hanataro, his fingers crushing mine as he says, "Is this the reason why she loses her light and carefree demeanor and get's so seriously depressed?" Hanataro nods to squeeze my hand in his. "Yes. She says it can be very hard to keep up the act she fools herself with. There's a reason why her favorite songs are so very sad and hopeless, they match how she truly feels deep down inside. There have only been a few people who made her feel worthwhile, it is only when those she loves most hold merit in her does she believe she is of real value. She has spent much of her time being alone to keep herself away from those that would drag her under. Megan has spent all of her time putting distance between herself and the world around her out of self preservation. As such it is very taxing to let anyone in for extended periods of time or to give them such deep feelings of trust. Only with those whom she sees as family can take those instinctual barriers down around her. It's why she holds the two of you in such high regard, along with Lieutenants Hinamori and Kira along with myself. We are family to her, and we have earned her inherent trust that we will never make her feel anything other than priceless. But it is you that is the most influential and cherished, Captain Ukitake. She truly does love you more than anyone else. Granted, her grandfather has a special place in her heart from giving her a lifeline and her spiritul convictions. But you hold the rest of her heart, Captain Ukitake. You make her whole, and for that I am ever so grateful. So truly, it is I who should thank you for bringing joy and contentment to her broken heart and spirit. Just don't admit to her that I told you all this, she'll kill me if she finds out!"

Ukitake looks down at me and my sleeping face, my breath gently fogging the breathing mask as he places his fingers to my face. His words are a bare whisper, yet they hold much emotion. "Thank you, Hanataro. I am forever in your debt. I swear to you now, I will never let her linger in such haunted darkness as long as we are together. I promise you, I will treasure this woman and our child that you have seen fit to gift their return into my keeping. You have my solemn oath." Hanataro gives a tired nod to say, "Good. That's all I really wanted to hear. Now if you would please excuse me, I'm going to head back to my room and rest. That surgery took a lot out of me, but do have someone let me know when she's up and around again." The three of them bow to each other in genuine respect, then Hanataro takes his leave. Kyoraku comes around to my other side and holds my hand in his, Ukitake giving a choked, "I just knew there was more to her constant waves of depression than what she let on. But she kept telling me it wasn't a big deal, that it was just a few haunted ghosts that rose up every now and again. No different than an old nightmare that has long since passed, much like the car crash. How long would she have kept silent about this, Shunsui?" Kyoraku tilts his hat slightly to say in answer, "Knowing her, she'd have bottled this up and kept it from you indefinitely. You know how much she hates to worry you over anything. But the same can be said of you, though yours is physical while hers is emotional. I've said it before to you, as has Retsu, you need to lean on others more often. How much does it hurt Megan to know you need help, yet you accept it from no one until you fall over half dead?" Ukitake flinches and hangs his head as Kyoraku tells him, "You can't do that to her anymore, Jushiro. I'm sure that's why she went to Central 46 alone. You were standing on your own to face Rukia's execution like a heroic knight. Yet she let you practically lock her in the safety of the Ugendo when we both know she'd rather have gone with us, even against old man Yama. You know full well she'd have stood in front of us and used her bankai without batting an eye before the old man got a chance to freeze her with his stare. Is she the type to willingly behave like some helpless damsel and let you go off to fight without taking up arms as well? We both know she'd smack you for that idea. We both know she won't dare allow herself to be weak around you, especially if you keep acting like you don't need her help." Ukitake gives a very long sigh once kyoraku has finished, placing his free hand to the bridge of his nose to ask, "Since when did she start putting her biblical proverbs and concepts into your head to intone them for her, Shunsui?" Kyoraku laughs with evident amusement. "Hey now, I enjoy listening to her read scruptures from her bible. Those proverbs and stories make a man think of things in different perspectives at the very least." Ukitake laughs. "As do I. It's amazing how many hidden layers there are in those pages for one to explore and meditate on. I've even been reading the bible she gave me on my own. It just has so much content to offer."

Kyoraku places his free hand on my forehead, rubbing the bridge of my nose with his thumb as he notes, "Same. here. Though I don't get very far before the book ends up on my face while I doze in the sunshine. But she will most likely enjoy it if we take turns reading to her while she's confined to your futon. I know she'll hate not being able to walk, and we'll have to keep her as distracted as possible." Ukitake nods at this to keep his gaze to my face, tears burning in his eyes as he exclaims, "I'm just thankful she didn't die, Shunsui! I lost all hope the moment her heart gave out! I've always believed she'd be the one to bury me! I never once considered it might be the other way around until- until-" Ukitake chokes as tears patter onto the sheets, his hand in mine tight as he shakes all over. Kyoraku nods, his own eyes burning. "You weren't the only one, Jushiro. I reached out not long after you did, and you screaming just brought the point home harder. But the both of us have fought on a battlefield before. We've both faced death and had it take people we care about." Ukitake nods, but his words are chilling. "Not like this, not for me, not this time! Now I see why Kaien gave all he could to eradicate that monster that ruined him! He didn't care anymore who was left after his wife Miyako was taken! I get that now! I see full well what losing one's soulmate will do to you! I'd never have survived her loss, Shunsui! And I would never wish to after all the love and joy Megan has instilled in me was ripped away to die with her! She is my life! She is my heart! She is my very soul! I'll have no other future if it does not include her in it!" Kyoraku nods as Ukitake kneels forward slightly, his hand at his face coming down to prop him up as Kyoraku tells him, "As she feels about you, I'm quite sure. Now you just have to make her see that the two of you stand as equals in this." Ukitake grumbles as he notes, "That won't be easy. Especially with what Hanataro just told us." Kyoraku chuckles to tease him. "Well, who ever said falling in love is supposed to be easy?" The both of them laugh as Lieutenant Isane walks in, accompanied by Orihime Inoue as she tells them, "I have brought one of the Ryoka at Captain Unohana's request." Kyoraku nods to step forwards. "Thank you Isane, we'll take it from here. Go and help the others out." Isane nods to back out of the room, Orihime looking to me as she says, "Is she the one that went up against Ichimaru and Aizen?" Kyoraku nods. "Yes indeed, but as you can see it didn't go very well for her. I'm Captain Shunsui Kyoraku by the way, and this is Captain Jushiro Ukitake. Rukia may have mentioned him to you while she was in the Living World." Orihime frowns, then goes wide eyed to exclaim, "You're Rukia's Captain?!" Ukitake nods to bow politely to her. "Indeed. And the one we wish for you to help is my fiance." Orihime claps a hand to her mouth to give a loud gasp. "You mean this is Megan?! Yes, of course I'll help! What do you need me to do for her?!"

Kyoraku takes her arm to escort her forward, explaining what happened and what I need for me to get better. Orihime gets tears in her eyes as she listens, taking my hand when Kyoraku is done to also say, "Granted, we have to be careful since she's more than just injured." Orihime looks at Kyoraku in question when Ukitake says, "Apparently, Megan is expecting." Orihime lets out a squeak, both hands going to her mouth as she says, "She's going to have a baby?! Oh how wonderful! Rukia is going to be so excited when she finds out! That shouldn't be a problem! I'll start right away if you'd like!" They both nod as she brings her hands forwards, summoning Ayame and Shun'ō to form a half-oval barrier around me. She closes her eyes to concentrate, her words intoning her kotodama, "Sōten Kisshun, I reject." The barrier starts to glow at this, Ukitake watching with a slight frown as Orihime works. Kyoraku stands next to her with a similar look of concern, the minutes ticking by as she heals me as best she can. Though the stab wounds in my chest only shrink slightly, my spine and nerves heal considerably as she starts to shake a little. Her brow furrows as she says, "I'm having a bit of trouble with those stab wounds in her chest. It may take a bit more to heal." But Kyoraku shakes his head to put a hand on her shoulder as he notes my vitals improve on the monitor. "It's all right, little lady. That's good enough." But then Orihime exclaims, "Oh! I think she's waking up!" Ukitake kneels over me the same time they do, his whisper barely audible as he says, "Megan?" I open my eyes slowly as the monitor behind them starts to chime slightly, blinking once as Orihime exclaims, "Oh good! You're coming to! I'm Orihime, a friend of Rukia's! I hope you're feeling better now?" I blink again and moan over the breathing mask, "Ow much!" She gives me a frown, "I don't really think you should talk, you're still hurt pretty badly after all." I roll my eyes at her to give a very comical, "Duh!" She giggles a bit to say, "Rukia told me you have a unique personality." I nod, but my eyes start watering. Orihime undoes her power around me, and my frame is then wrapped in the arms of the man I love. His tears fall on my skin as he presses my head to his heart, the pace starting to pump hard and fast as he exclaims, "Megan! Oh love! How could you go off on your own like that?! I thought I'd lost you when you grabbed my spirit ribbon!" I flinch as he starts to cry, his words aching as he laments into my hair. "Oh my love, I felt it when you- when you- I knew! I knew the moment you-" Kyoraku puts a hand on my shoulder as Ukitake's voice breaks. "Same. We both knew, since we grabbed your spirit ribbon at the same time. Don't ever do that again, Megan. You took a century off my life with that stunt. Never again, missy. On a side note, well done."

I smile for Kyoraku to chuckle and say, "It was really clear how hard you fought. We all could see the burns on Gin's hands along with the cut to his face. He admitted you gave him a run for his hide. I bet he and Aizen were floored when you used your bankai. Did they cower in their sandals?" I snicker at the idea to tell him, "Hardly." I look at Orihime and offer a shaking hand, which she takes as I then say, "Thanks." She smiles and nods as I ask, "Momo?" I'm relieved when Ukitake tells me, "They told us earlier she's stabilized and is going to be all right." I give a long sigh to say, "Thank GOD!" I then start coughing to make a shooing motion, Kyoraku catching on to take Orihime's arm and give a knowing grin. "I get it Megan. Come along now, little lady. Let's leave the lovebirds to it. They have a few things to discuss." She asks him before they get out the door, "How is it she has a christian style cross? I didn't think soul reapers had those here?" Kyoraku looks at me in question, and I give him a thumbs up to signal it's okay to tell her. He nods and leads Orihime out of the room, chuckling as he says, "Well, it's an interesting story actually." I take what energy I can and move myself to allow Ukitake room to lay next to me, which he does eagerly. His eyes stream as he holds me close, his hands running over my frame as he nuzzles his face to my head. "Oh Megan! I knew the moment I lost you! I felt it the moment your heart stopped! There was no doubt to me you had perished! I KNEW!" His hand clutches at my chest, the material of my hospital yukata opening for him as his hand presses to my heart. His words ache and lace my soul with sorrow as he chokes, "Don't ever do such a thing to me again! I forbid for you to die on me and leave me here without you! I forbid for your heart to ever still in such a manner! Do you hear me?! I forbid it, your heart is mine! Never again!" I nod in consent, my hand without the IV reaching up to press his hand to my heart. I get an idea to unlace the breathing mask, his concern evident as he asks, "Megan? Don't take that off! You-" But I lean forward and whisper in his ear, his eyes going a little wider as a smile spreads over his lips and gets off the bed. It only takes a moment for him to crawl back in next to me, my eyes closed as he wraps an arm around me. His words are warm as he says, "I wonder what one of the nurses will think of me using this without permission, hmm?" I give a breathless laugh, his own laugh joining me as he puts the stethescope on. I shift to lay flat next to him as he places the listening end to my heart, his eyes closing as the sound of it's steadied pace sings to his hearing in blessed relief. I bring my hand up to press his hand to my front and I give one word, "Yours." His eyes burn to leak tears, his sob evident as I lay my head to his. His hand at my heart is kissed by the beating in my chest, his words whispered over me as I lay next to him. "Yes. This heart. Mine to cherish and savor. This beautiful heart I hear within you is mine." I nod as I tell him, "Yes. Yours. Always." His eyes find mine, tears leaking in abundance as he whispers, "Megan! I will hold your heart in my keeping gladly! Always!"

I nod and close my eyes, my fatigue making me go limp as Ukitake hugs me all the closer. He shifts me slightly so my head rests against his chest, his free hand hugging me close as he tells me. "I love you, Megan." I smile as his heart beats in my ear, the rythmn hard and glorious as he tells me, "As your heart is mine, so too is mine yours. I give my heart to you freely, along with my life and my future. I am yours, Megan. Always." I smile and nuzzle my head to the blessed thunder in his frame as I say, "Thank you." His hand at my head laces through my hair, his words holding a bit of mirth as he tells me, "By the way my love, Hanataro and Unohana found something while they were operating on you." I frown to ask him, "Both?" He nods. "It was needed, Megan. Or else we would have lost the two of you." I blink in confusion, then my eyes go as wide as allowed as my heart starts pumping hard and fast. Ukitake notes the sound as my entire frame shivers for me to exclaim, "TWO?!" He nods, his free hand snaking over my waist to place his hand to my stomach. "Yes, Retsu says you're at least eight or nine weeks along. You're pregnant Megan." I grip his front tight as my world reels on it's axis, my air coming in hard pants as I exclaim, "REALLY?!" He nods again to tell me, "Yes. You're really expecting, my love." But I shake my head to lace my fingers in his, my words full of love as I breathe, "No, Jushiro. We." His eyes go a little wider as I hold his gaze, his smile breaking over his face. "We're expecting. I love the sound of that. But I'm sure that was the point you were making." But I look up at him as my hand rests over his at my stomach, my question evident as I ask him, "Is the baby okay?!" His kiss to my head is lost in my hair. "Yes. Hanataro made sure the baby is all right while Retsu healed you. Toshiro did a bit of damage to your spine, but I'm thinking that Orihime has helped considerably with that. You'll have to be on a ventillator for a bit from what Gin did to your chest, and the fun part is you'll be on bedrest from the loss of so much emniotic fluid for quite while." I blink a few times, then I give a loud groan to say, "Great..." I lift my gaze up to look into his eyes and they are full of tears and sadnessHis words are aching as he tells me, "Oh Megan. Don't you ever get hurt like this again. Losing you would kill me worse than this illness or any blade ever could. I am nothing without you. Don't ever forget this, or you'll send me plummeting to Hell and take me to the grave right along with you." I jerk and shiver as tears burn in my eyes. "Jushiro!" But he hugs me tight. "Never again, I don't care if you get angry with me! You will not take such a risk ever again, not as long as I have a say in it! I will make certain that you stay safe and away from the battlefield, even if I have to use kido on you to freeze you in place! Especially now that you are more than one!" I flinch as I tremble all over, my fear at the near miss spiraling through me as I choke out, "I DIDN'T KNOW!"

Ukitake notes my fear and nods to reassure me right away, "I never suggested that you did. I'm sure you didn't. Or else you'd never have taken the risk. I know you never meant to get hurt. I know that, Megan." His hand at my chest shakes slightly as I whimper and choke, my heart pounding hard as my fear and guilt grip me tight. But his words are sweet and full of love as he hugs me close. "I know you were scared to leave the Ugendo when we knew what my actions would entail. But it's over now Megan. Think of something else. Like how we'll have to start planning out a nursery on top of the nuptuals." I give a squeak as my heart just keeps pumping in a hard tempo, Ukitake looking down at me as I choke out, "Not helping!" His frown has me flinch slightly and he realizes, "You're scared?" I nod and say, "Who wouldn't be?!" Ukitake thinks for a moment, then he hugs me even tighter. "Good point. Thank you for sharing. Now I'm getting nervous." I smile as his own heart starts thumping hard in time to mine. "I noticed." But I give a long sigh at the sound, his heartbeat like the most beautiful of symphonies to me as I close my eyes. He looks down at me to note the frown on my face as I tell him, "Breathing hurts." He places a kiss to my head. "I'm sure it does, since they had to remove some of your lung during surgery." I give a growl as my fear sends my heart skipping a few paces. "Lovely." His sigh is evident as he tells me, "Now you know how I feel." I nod at this statement, but then I tell him, "Momo reached out to me." Ukitake raises an eyebrow. "What? Is that why you left the Ugendo? To find Momo and help her?" I nod vehemently, tuckering me out as I say, "She tugged on my ribbon." Ukitake nods as the pieces fit into place. "That explains why you left, since Momo was already so badly hurt. But why did you go alone?" I close my eyes and tell him, "She was in shock. No time." He nods in understanding as I give a few hard coughs, lacing his free hand to my neck as I pant hard and moan out, "Ow..." I nestle myself to his frame as I cry slightly, hot tears lacing down my face as I tell him, "I'm sorry." My hand grips his over the listening end of the stethescope as I shiver, my air strained as he notes the frantic pace of my heart. "Megan. Easy now, it's alright. Just breathe my love. Calm down and breathe for me." He shifts me so his free hand can press the breathing mask to my face, his words warm and loving as he tells me, "Deep breaths, Megan. Focus on that for now." I take a few ragged inhalations of air that make me choke at the pain, but I do so regardless as tears stream from my eyes. Ukitake keeps his hand on the mask as I tremble, his eyes closing as my chest expands and my heart pumps in my ribs. "That's it love. Breathe deep for me. I know it's going to hurt, but you need it." I do so as the agony burns through my body like fire, shuddering with each full breath of air. Until I let myself go slack into the bed as he holds me, my air burning my injured lung as I whisper, "Jushiro... I love you..." His smile warms his face as he notes my heart and breathing start to settle, placing a kiss to my head as I lay next to him. His hand on the breathing mask comes down to my waist and hugs me to his frame. "I love you too, Megan. Now rest. Everything else will wait." His words are the last thing I note before sleep claims me, our hands holding the stethescope to my chest as I go limp in his embrace. He spends a few minutes laying with me as I sleep, the sound of my heart slow and steady as life courses through my frame. His gaze never leaves my face as my heart kisses his fingertips, giving a yawn to then take the stethescope off and lace it around his nack. Then his own exhaustion claims him, his eyes drifting closed as he smiles and holds me tight.

Captain Unohana comes in to check on me early the next morning, noting what Ukitake is wearing to make her smile warmly at him. "You always were a hopeless romantic, Jushiro. At least now you can return the care and comfort she has given to you." Kyoraku walks in to stand behind her, raising his eyebrow as he figures out what we were doing. He chuckles slightly as he says in a lowered tone, "You'd think they were back at the academy with mushy gestures like that." Unohana laughs and says to him, "I think it's very sweet, Shunsui. Since when have you see such a look of contentment on his face?" Kyoraku looks at Unohana. "Not since the two of you were together. You did make him quite happy, you know." She blushes slightly at this statement. "Yes. As he made me in turn." Kyoraku notes the smile on her face at the memories to ask her, "Do you wish the two of you had stayed together?" She tilts her head slightly. "A little. But I am quite happy with how things are now. I wanted for Jushiro to find love that was more than just simple attraction like what we had. Someone who would give his heart brilliance and passion in abundance. Megan brought that when she opened herself to his attentions, her unique and creative soul has done more than I ever could for him in this sense. I find sometimes I am envious of her, she is so posetive and humorous most days. Though I have sat with her during her bouts of depression on a few occasions. It's hard to believe such a cheerful soul can so easily succumb to such crushing misery." Kyoraku frowns at this bit to nod in agreement and say, "Yeah, so have I. One minute she was laughing without a care in the world, then it was like someone flicked a switch and she just went dead silent. I was wondering what was wrong when she said, 'And the good mood bubble just popped from getting too inflated.' I had asked her what she meant, but she wouldn't explain. 'It's just a phase I go through. I'll be fine again once it passes after a bit.' She switched the tracks of music to a more depressing mood, but she joked and laughed with me like we hadn't even been interrupted. It was the same things she always says and does, but her humor and enjoyment didn't come back until I saw her the next day." Unohana gives a sigh to tell him, "I'm thinking she was worse off when I saw her. She had just come to see Hanataro after a hard session with Third Seat Ikkaku Madarame and was told Hanataro had left to run an errand. Her face was sullen and she had nodded without even batting an eye to just up and leave without getting tended to. I offered for her to sit with me as I did so, and she just followed behind me to the room. She asked if I would be willing to teach her healing kido, if only to help Jushiro whenever he has an episode. I was pleased to have her ask, and she spent the next few hours with me learning. But she never smiled once or gave any hint of warmth the entire time."

Kyoraku asks her, "What was the date?" Unohana thinks for a moment to say to him, "I'm not sure, but it was a day in earliest Januray. Why?" Kyoraku gives a long sigh to tell her, "It was probably the day of her and Brad's anniversary." Unohana goes wide eyed and states, "Oh my! That would explain why she looked so dejected when I had to leave to tend to a couple that had a minor emergency!" Kyoraku nods, "Yeah. Makes sense if that's what day it was. Jushiro said shehad left for a whole morning without telling him where she went, coming back to sit by herself on the porch for the rest of the day. She was depressed for that whole week and he couldn't bring her out of it completely. But she was fine again after the tournament at the squad three barracks. I'm guessing Gin helped her with that when she snuck away to his office by herself. I went to check and see where she went after a few minutes, and I could hear them talking. She was cussing vehemently, and I'd gone bug eyed since she never uses that kind of language without a very good reason. Gin was laughing at her bad mood and telling her he'd enjoy watching her kill whatever idiot had riled her up that much, when she told him to do a few things I've never heard her utter to anyone. I was dumbstruck she'd toss those kinds of words and threats at him, but he just laughed harder as she stomped around the room. Then she walked over and banged her fists to his desk to shout at me to stop eaves dropping before she fried me with a good shot of kido. I was terrified at how much anger and rage she shot my way with just her words. It was like having you give me a glare, and I hightailed it before I registered she'd known I was listening in." Unohana laughs at him to say, "You and she are just as close as you and Jushiro, she's told me she knows exactly where you are just by casually reaching out for your spirit ribbon. But Gin is special to her, she loves him just as much as Jushiro in my opinion. But now Gin has..." They both frown at this point, looking to me as I lay motionless in Ukitake's embrace. Kyoraku tilts his head to growl out, "He's always been an odd one, it's why Megan and he were so attached to each other. Birds of a feather and all that. But this is not going to be easy for her, or Izuru for that matter." Unohana gives a slight smile as she says, "Perhaps they can help each other come to terms with this. Themselves and Lieutenant Hinamori as well." Unohana reaches out to lay a hand on my head, her smile warm as she says, "Megan has always been a wonderous example to others, in kindness and posetivity. But it is her ways of faith and love that shine the most, like sunshine on a summer day. Though the clouds may come and the rain may fall, the sun will return in time to warm the earth once again." Kyoraku laughs at this, "More like sunlight that shines at midnight, much like that one song she plays every so often." Unohana asks him, "Which song is that, Shunsui?" Kyoraku takes my old music player I gave him out of his pocket, finding the song to play Beautiful, Beautiful by Franchesca Battestelli. Unohana smiles warmly as the song plays, it's lyrics about how light may shine to make all things beautiful even after the hardest of trials. She says at the songs end, "Yes, so like her to have that kind of viewpoint." Kyoraku smiles back at her as he puts ithe player back in his pocket, "Yeah, she always tries to keep hold to some semblance of hope." Unohana nods to state, "Indeed. I'm thinking we should leave them to rest." She lightly nudges him out the door as they both laugh, their footsteps fading away as I open my eyes. I heard much of what they were talking about, and I lay there as the minutes tick by. My mind reels as does my heart at all that's happened, my eyes burning as I give an audible sob at all the pain and heartache. But I shake my head and turn my gaze to Ukitake, his face full of contentment to make me smile slightly before drifting back to sleep.

*****cut off point*****

My hands twitch as I do my best to stay quiet, but a few hard sobs do come out as my lips breathe one name, "Gin..." Then I choke and sob in abandon, my anguish ripping me apart at this evident betrayal of my heart and spirit. Ukitake wakes up as I whimper and cough next to him, his whisper lacing over the air to say, "Megan?" I go dead still when I realize he's awake, my entire frame shaking as he notes the sound of my heart thundering in my chest through the stethescope he left on. I look into his slightly clouded eyes, his own going as wide as mine as he note the swirling emotions in my gaze. "Beloved?" I don't dare move as his free hand hugs me closer, his words a whispered, "What are you fighting, let me in to stand with you. Please Megan. Tell me, what is breaking this heart I love with all my own?" My eyes stream as I finally give one word in answer, "Myself." His eyes hold so much sorrow as I tell him through the breathing mask, "It's all on me, Jushiro. Momo. Izuru. Hitsugaiya. Rangiku. Shunsui. Gin. You. All of you, I've failed you all!" Each name given has my heart breaking, my words cracking me more before I shatter completely in his hold. I lament in anguished notes of misery, "Gin's gone, and it's all my fault! I promised him I would always stand and help him when he needed it most! To help him do what was right whenever he got lost on the right course of action! Yet I gave him no real reason to believe I would keep that oath when I left his squad! Gin may have made the choice to walk away, but my own blindness at him turning away to do so is just as damning! And now countless others have suffered, all because I wasn't there when he needed it most! I might have made all the difference, but there's no way any of us will ever know that now! The only one here I can blame is myself! I failed him just as I have the rest of you!"

My entire body is in agony as I choke and take ragged gasps of air, my world reeling as this betrayal of one I so dearly love shatters me inside. Both my hands grip tight to my chest as Ukitake notes the evident pounding of my heart, his eyes going wide as I choke and cough for air as my misery suffocates me. He hesitates for only a second, then he rips the breathing mask off my face to kiss me deeply. My eyes go wide, then I squeeze them closed as his hands hug me tight to his frame. I drown in his reiatsu as it blooms over us, his power washing over me as he breaks our kiss to exclaim in vehemence, "Don't you dare for one second convince yourself these blatant lies are true! Gin had every opportunity to take the hand you have always offered him! Don't you dare blame yourself when he slapped it instead! I don't care what his reasoning is for doing so! It's his sin! Not yours!" He replaces the breathing mask to my face and commands me, "Now breathe before I have you pass out on me! I'm not done making my point!" I don't dare even think to aruge with him, my eyes closing and I take full breaths of air as he holds the breathing mask to my face. His words are like steel as he tells me, "You saved Momo from Aizen. You gave no quarter to Aizen or Gin in order to keep her safe. You protected Toshiro when Gin went after him. You fought with all you had and stalled long enough for help to arrive. You have nothing to feel ashamed of! Do not believe these lies! Take my truth and hold tight to it, Megan! Take the love of my heart and never let youself question your worth!" He takes the stethescope off to put it on me, pressing the listening end to my heart. His words bring clarity as he tells me, "Mine! Always! I will not allow such horrid poisons like guilt or self doubt to lay claim to this heart for any reason! Not one flutter belongs to anyone but me! Each contraction of the chambers, each opening of the valves and the closing of them in turn! The whole of your heart and it's music are MINE!" I nod in agreement as he then takes the listening end of the stethescope and places it to his chest. My eyes close while his heartbeat thunders over me and he tells me, "Yours! Always! No other may have me, no other may claim this sonnet you hear! My heart is yours! Each beat, each note, I give to you and you alone! All so I might have your own to safeguard and cherish with all I have to offer!" My eyes stream as he hugs me with his free arm, his heartbeat a blessed symphony to drown me in his love and unlace the guilt and darkness from my soul. My hands cover the one at his chest as I choke out, "Jushiro... Beloved..." I keep the listening end to his heart and sob, his arms coming around me to hug me tight. My anguish bursts forth like a dam, my wailing filling the room. I choke and sob as his heart pumps like a love song in my ears, whispering an unspoken promise of love and devotion. I cry for what feels like hours, until all my tears are expended and I don't even have the energy to twitch. He pulls the blankets of the futon back up to lay over us fully, my eyes still watered and my air just as strained. His hand covers mine to keep the stethescope in place as I go limp, his words full of love as he tells me, "I love you, my child of light. Just rest for now. Everything else can wait. And then we can take them on together."

***** cut off point *****

I take the hood of the cloak off and Ichimaru goes wide eyed at the sight of me. Aizen smiles as he takes in my face and whitened hair to say, "Ah. If it isn't the Eighth Seat of squad 13. It would seem you are more resilient than I first guessed. So then Megan, did you volunteer to give us this missive of war?" I nod. "Yep. Though Yamamoto warned me not to shoot my mouth off too much." I hand the letter to Ulquiorra, who takes it and hands it over to Aizen. Before he can open it I say, "One thing for each of you before I leave." I look to Tosen first. "Kaname Tosen. I have but one thing for you to consider. I know the reason you did this, but I must ask you one question. Would the one whom you seek justice for approve of what you have done, or would they have shed bitter tears of regret over your choice?" Tosen flinches slightly, Aizen giving a light laugh as I then turn to him. "Sosuke Aizen. Do you dare think the throne of Heaven lays barren for you to simply walk up and claim? Or do you think yourself so mighty, with a mere magic lamp and parlor tricks, to unseat the Almighty from his perch?" Aizen laughs openly at this, his shoulders shaking in amusement as he stares down at me. "You are bold and do well with such words of eloquent disdain. I have to say Megan, I have always liked that about you. I'm sure you have the most to say to your former Captain. So do not feel like you need to hold anything back for posterity." I scoff at this notion, then I bring my gaze to Ichimaru to point at him. "I was going to do so regardless and you know that. Gin, get over here." Ichimaru blinks a few times, then he walks forward. The moment he gets in reach, I slap him as hard as I can in the face. The others in the room go dead still as I then backhand him with that same hand. He brings a hand up to touch the obvious red marks on his cheek as I growl out, "I promised Izuru I'd get a few shots in for him when I came." He shakes his head a few times to clear it, then I step forwards until I'm directly in front of him. To the surprise of everyone, I wrap my arms around him and hug tight as I say, "But this is what I think best between us. If only for a proper farewell." Ichimaru goes wide eyed as my arms hug him tight, his frame stock still as he notes for everyone in the room, "Megan?! You- You're expecting?!" Aizen and Tosen give expressions of surprise at this bit of news, and I nod as I say in turn, "Yes, my souls brother. Toshiro's strike nearly ruined that. And if you had stayed, I would have gladly named you as guardian. But this is all I will have from you now. So take this last moment between us while you still can." His arms come up automatically, hugging me close as I whisper only for him, "I'll never stop loving you, Gin. I will never give up what you gave me, and my hand will always be held outstretched in forgiveness. I'll have to help the others kill you regardless, but it will never be out of hate or malice. I will always have a special place in my heart that is only for you. Never forget this, Gin. My heart embraces you. Then, now, and always. I just hope and pray this is all a well played con, and if it is then I will fight beside you without a second thought." I give him a bag full of dried persimmons from his orchard as well as a satchel of seeds, kissing him over his lips to say in sorrowful intonation, "The last bit of grace I will dare give to you openly. For all events and purposes, the one I love so dearly died the day you took his place as a traitor. As such, this final act is his eulogy and he has now been buried for me to mourn forever. May you feel utter despair for all you have wrought in the evident killing of my brother in all but blood. And so I shall say goodbye to my Gin, my souls brother and beloved friend." I kiss him again with a lingering touch, my words whispered as I tell him, "My brother, my friend, my souls equal. My heart embraces you always, Gin Ichimaru. Thank you for all that you gave unto me. I will love you always, and now I bid thee good bye."

I turn from them and walk away, my eyes leaking freely as I start to tremble all over. My hood on my cloak comes up as I walk, my free hand tossing a small bag of salt over my head that Ulquiorra catches. He opens it and tells Aizen with a neutral tone, "It is salt, Lord Aizen." Aizen laughs openly at my given pun, the sound making me halt as he tells me, "I take it that's your own touch to go along with this war missive. Bravo, Megan. I love that you have a sense of humor even now. You have always been unorthodox. I find it rather refreshing, if not adorable." My fist clenches so I don't flip him a gesture, my voice wavering as I say, "I have delivered all that I sought to bring with me. As such, I take my leave of you. I hope and pray you all get exactly what you deserve at the end of this conflict." Then I walk out of the room as tears stream from my eyes, not daring to look back for any reason. Ichimaru laces his fingers through my spirit ribbon to hold it tight, the gesture a missive all his own that we made between us when words would not be safe. I grip his back to tug once in vehemence in answer, then I let go and rip mine from his grasp. His sorrow is evident as it lingers around me, and my heart breaks all over again as I abandon one whom I so dearly love and cherish to their chosen fate. Grimmjow escorts me out to open a door for me to get back, noting I'm shaking as I sob into one hand. He smirks at this to ask me, "Well, well, well. I take it you really did care about the viper in the room?" I give a very hard sigh. "Yes, it isn't easy losing loved ones when I have so few. Thank you for escorting me outside, Grimmjow." He nods at me, looking behind me to snarl out, "Anything to get away from Aizen is a good thing in my book." I go wide eyed to note the evident hate in his voice, blinking a few times to ask him, "Whoah. I take it you'd like to rip him to pieces?" He growls and nods to exclaim, "And I'm going to one day! Mark me!" I give him a slight smile, stepping through the doorway in the air to note before the door closes, "If that's the case, feel free to defect to our side anytime you want. Heck, they already pulled that card. Why not have a few of their rooks switch teams?" Grimmjow gives me a stunned look before the door closes completely, then it shuts tight as I head for the meeting room to check back in. I open the doors without knocking to say in a tired voice, "Missive delivered." They all turn to look at me, Ukitake running forwards to hug me tight. I hug him back as he shakes slightly. "They didn't-" I shake my head. "No. I'm unscathed. It just- it really- it really hurt to-" He nods in understanding as I start crying again, then he glares at me to growl out, "Why aren't you using your cane?!" I snort at this as the tears stream from my eyes. "Great idea. Make the messenger look like easy prey to a nest of predators." Byakuya twitches slightly to say, "Warranted, such would not have been a good idea. Renji, please fetch her a cushion." Renji nods to do so, but I ask, "Wait. I thought you guys just wanted me to report in? Did something else come up while I was gone?" Head Captain Yamamoto nods at my question. "Correct, Eighth Seat Megan. Please sit, there is something we must discuss with you present." I kneel down as my mind whirls with questions, the first one that I voice is, "What did I do wrong this time?" Kyoraku chuckles and asks me with amusement, "Why is that always the first thing you think of asking when we talk about you?" I shrug. "Old habit. Anytime I hear something break, I automatically want to shout 'I didn't do it' just out of instinct." A few of the others laugh at this statement, Ukitake saying, "You do that anyways." I throw up my hands. "Sue me!" Head Captain Yamamoto chuckles to say, "In any event. As you know, we are now short three Captains and one Lieutenant." I nod and his next sentence has me reeling. "As such, we must find replacements for these positions. It has been suggested that you fill one of these seats, in the idea that you return to your former squad three as it's Captain." My rump hits the floor when I fall over, my eyes wide in shock as I exclaim, "Say WHAT?! Who suggested THAT?!" But then my eyes lock onto Izuru and I exclaim, "You- You- Are you kidding me, Izuru?! Are you really honestly kidding me?! What gave you the idea to even suggest that?!" Izuru smiles to note absently, "Well. Besides the fact you're perfect for the position, along with the requirement that you have your bankai already. I'd say it's a perfect idea." I seethe at him, "I ought to keel haul you! Having bankai and being proficient are two completely different things! And I am not perfect for any such position, I barely have enough brains to do basic algebra! Get over here so I can beat your head into the floor!"

Many of the others laugh as Izuru does so, and I whap him over the head to then shake his shoulders with vehemence. "You honestly thought to put this on me! On top of an upcoming wedding and having a kid! Not to mention I can barely walk a block without falling over most days! I oughta kill you for this!" Izuru laughs just as much as the others, Head Captain Yamamoto chuckling as my energy bottoms out for Izuru to keep me upright. "It was not suggested by Lieutenant Kira as you assume. The suggestion came from your own fiance." I go bug eyed as Ukitake kneels next to me and I say, "You did it?! How could you of all people do this to me?!" His smile is wide as he tells me, "Well, you have all that is required to at least try a hand at it." I glare at him. "I'm going to kill you when we get home!" But he simply laughs as Head Captain Yamamoto states, "Since we all know you have bankai, we will have you perform the Captain Proficiency Test." I give a grumbled, "You want me to do so now?" He nods. "Please." I take a deep breath, then I get back onto my feet. Izuru and Ukitake keep me upright, and I unsheathe my zanpakuto. My eyes begin to glow, the green being lost to the white as I say, "Gleam in radiant abundance, Mamoru no Hiroaki." My frame is lost in the light as my clothes shift, the armor of a shrine maiden fitting over my frame as the angel wings bloom from my back. My great staff settles in my hands as the twin kodachi come to rest at my waist. Izuru goes bug eyed as I hover off the ground, Head Captain Yamamoto noting this to ask, "I take it you would fall over if you weren't in the air?" I nod. "I don't have much energy left, Head Captain Yamamoto. As such, don't be surpised if Jushiro has to carry me out of the meeting." Head Captain Yamamoto raises an eyebrow at this bit of news. "I take it your recovery is not going as well as expected?" I give a hard sigh to tell him, "I'm not gonna lie. I'm not even halfway close to being better. If I ever do get all the way fully recovered. I get the feeling I'll be using that cane all the time. And I still end up using the ventilator on and off." Ukitake flinches to hiss out, "You didn't tell me that!" I grumble back, "Like I'm going to make you worry. It's just during the dizzy spells, Jushiro. Such is a side effect of pregnancy." I hold out the great staff to say, "Quick run down. My offensive is mostly with this great staff. Kido is at the least tripled when I focus any of it through the great staff or just have it in my hands, at most up to seven times the power when I throw all I've got into it." I let go of the staff so it hovers next to me, unsheathing the kodachi to continue. "I have these mostly for defense or for cutting through kido, since the blades dispell reiatsu directed at me for attacks. I can use all three weapons if I need to, since the great staff moves as I will it without having to touch it. All my abilities have to do with light, whether they be shards that shoot at a target, barriers to shield allies or myself, down to healing to purge harm." I then focus, and my wings come apart to spread their feathers into the air. I start to pant as I say, "Three uses for this. Missile attack. Healing one person per feather. Placing a shield on a target per feather. Now for a demostration. Kenpachi, you mind getting shot at for this?"

Everyone goes bug eyed as Kenpachi smirks at my question to chuckle and say, "You really are a bold one, aren't you Megs. Sure, why not. I'll play along." The others back away as I turn towards him, the feathers ceasing their dance to then all point right at Kenpachi. His reiatsu explodes as I focus and I tell him. "I was saving this trump for Ikkaku, I wanted to use it when I was certain I wouldn't accidentally blow something off him. But you won't get hurt if I ramp it all the way up, so you're getting all I can muster! get ready for this, sempai! it's gonna hurt for once!" I flick on my music player and my own reiatsu explodes. The feathers glow fierce and the air warps from the intensity as a few give noises of surprise. Then I shoot my arsenal at Kenpachi full force, my roar full of all my pent up heartache and anger to fuel the emotions raging inside me into the assault. The feathers fly like arrows, pummeling into Kenpachi without a shred of mercy. He gives a hard grunt at first, then he gives a snarl as many of the feathers pierce his reiatsu and slice into his frame. A few people give a shout as he goes down on one knee, instinctively reaching for the eyepatch as I throw all I've got at him. But he keeps the eyepatch on, his face and frame getting nicked to lace red all over his body. He cackles once my arsenal is expended, his grin wide as he looks up at me to exclaim, "HAH! Well done, Megs! That actually DID hurt! I'm impressed you have that much power to throw at me now!" I snicker as my bankai fades and Izuru catches my weight. "That the best compliment I could get from you, thanks. You're the one shinigami I will never go easy on, Kenpachi-sempai." He laughs openly as my eyes roll back and I go limp, Ukitake helping Izuru set me down as he brings me into his arms. "Megan? Are you all right?" I give a nod to groan out, "I am so toasted. Passing out sounds delightful about now..." Head Captain Yamamoto brings his staff down hard to say, "Well done, Eighth Seat Megan. Though you may need a bit more work on your control." I nod again and say, "Hence why I'm so floored any of you are even considering making me a Captain. I'd readily say yes in a few years time, but this is ridiculous! You can't be that desperate!" Head Captain Yamamoto chuckles to tell me, "It is true there is a great need to fill these positions. But it is not because of this that your name was brought forth. If you still hold doubt, then the test for formal recommendation may prove this unwarranted." I blink a few times, then Head Captain Yamamoto declares, "Captains of the Gotei 13, who among you recommends that this young woman be given the right to stand amongst you as an equal. Step forth now to cast your vote of approval." The first to do so is Ukitake. "First." Kyoraku steps forward right afterwards. "Second." Unohana is soon to follow. "Third." Hitsugai steps forward soon after. "Fourth." I'm rightly stunned when Kenpachi nods to declare. "Fifth." Komamura rumbles out right afterwards to my evident surprise. "Sixth." Then Byakuya nods to say to my utter shock. "Seventh." My head reels as I note the extra vote needed to make it official as Head Captain Yamamoto declares, "It is decided. Megan Jo Mawdesley, you are recognized as one who bears the qualities of a Captain. Will you accept this honor by your peers?" I blink before I say, "Head Captain... May I take a moment to think and pray before I give my answer?" He nods at this request, and I close my eyes as Ukitake hugs me close. I grip tight to his front as I whisper out, "How the Hell could you do this to me?!" He smiles as I tremble to tell me, "Because I know full well you'll be perfect at lifting your former squad back to what it used to be. I know you'll do well in serving them, Megan. So please, say yes." I close my eyes and pray, asking what is best for all and what the Lord wants of me. I feel the barest whisper over my senses, the voice warm and oh so familiar to nudge me in the right course of action.

I take a moment to weight my descision carefully, then I open my eyes. "If it would serve the benefit of all, I accept the position so generously offered. At least until one is found that might better serve the Gotei 13." Ukitake hugs me tight in elation and I point a finger at Izuru's beaming face. "I'm gonna work you to the marrow, you mark my words!" Everyone gives a round of applause as Izuru helps me up, Kyoraku coming behind me to put a hand on my head and ruffle my hair. Head Captain Yamamoto bangs his staff to say, "This meeting is then concluded." I'm not too surprised Renji walks up to me to give me a hug, his arms like steel as he about crushes me in his excitement. "Ack! Renji! Don't break me! Or I'll have you replace me!" He flushes to say, "Sorry. But I'm so happy for you!" I give a hard sigh to note, "I'm not!" Renji flinches the same time the others do as I make my point. "The fact we have to find replacements for those that should have been faithful to their positions is not something to celebrate in my book. So let's tone the fanfare down a bit to tolerable levels." I get an idea and ask Izuru, "Have the persimmon trees been tended to yet?" He shakes his head and I say, "Let's do so. We're going to do some fruit picking with the whole squad helping." I then say to everyone present, "Anyone who wants to join in can do so. Shunsui, I have a few things I need to discuss with you and Retsu later." Ukitake helps me up with Kyoraku following suit, the two of them helping me walk with Izuru behind us as we leave the meeting hall. We then make our way to the squad three barracks, Izuru coming into the main room for the other squad members to note our presence. "We have a surprise for you all tonight, and I know you'll all love it." Everyone gives murmurs of curiosity as Izuru smiles and I tell them all, "Change in roster tonight, guys. Instead of the tournament, we're going outside to pick persimmons and dry them out. Everyone get your butts out there." Third Seat Riku Tonakushi gives me a miffed look to note, "Hang on a minute, Megan. Since when do you have the gall to boss us around?" Izuru grins at this to tell everyone, "Since she just got promoted to Captain ten minutes ago!" The whole room goes dead quiet, then they all burst out cheering in elation. I laugh as Riku goes bug eyed, his voice loud as he exclaims, "SAY WHAT?! They promoted you?! Are you kidding us, Megan?! They really made you our Captain?!" I nod and point at Ukitake to tell him, "Blame him for throwing me to you wolves. As such, you all get thirty minutes to get your butts outside with baskets for our activity. No exceptions, people. Get moving." They all cheer as everyone gets the rest of the squad not present, Kyoraku noting my glance to the office once the squad is getting things organized. "Right. C'mon, Jushiro." They bring me into the office with Izuru following behind, and I plop myself into the chair at the desk. I look around at the room to say, "Hoo boy... Better... I take it these papers are important?"

Izuru nods, so I shove them all off the desk with vehemence. All three of them note how I chuckle and say, "Phooey to that for the moment. Izuru, front and center. Private and official squad three meeting shall now commence and all that jargon. Hupp two, chop chop." Izuru walks forwards and I say, "Sit down on the desk and listen up, I'm only gonna say this once." He does so as I nudge one of his feet with mine, his gaze questioning to ask me, "What is it, Megan?" I look up in his eyes, and I wait until I hear the door close to signify we're alone. "I don't want you to think of me as Gin's replacement, brother." He goes bug eyed as I continue. "I am your sister, I am your friend, and I am now your partner in keeping the rest of our squad from doubting themselves and our division as a whole. You dare try to make me into something I'm not, I'll whack you over the head with your zanpakuto. I am only doing this out of the need of the people outside these doors. If I wanted to be selfish, I would never have even entertained the idea of so much as being a co-lieutenant with you. This is the last thing I ever wanted, having to replace the one who we called Captain Gin Ichimaru. As I'm quite sure you feel the exact same way." My eyes water as I hold his gaze and note, "I know full well you love Gin just as much as I do. He is our brother as much as our friend and Captain. The truth of it, now. How much do you blame yourself for letting him betray our trust?" Izuru jerks and looks away from me, his shoulders shaking enough of an admission for me. I sigh and note, "I figured as much." I get up and lace my arms around him, his own coming up to hug me tight as he keeps shaking. "I just don't understand it, Megan! Why?! Why would he do this?! Was it all a lie?! How much was truth and how much was an act to fool us all?!" I give a long sigh to tell him what I believe as truth. "It was probably both, to fool himself as much as the rest of us. I highly doubt he's really faithful to Aizen, he's doing this for his own personal reasons. But what those are I can only guess at. Who knows, he may be playing at double agent for all we know." Izuru gives me a humorless laugh to say, "You honestly going to use that as an excuse?" I shake my head. "It's not an excuse, it a reason. It doesn't pardon the act, it merely explains it. Two different things, brother." Hot water lands in my hair as I hug Izuru tight, my words needed for both of us as I say, "Brother. I need to tell you something, and this doesn't leave this room for any reason. Not even Jushiro can know of what I will reveal. This is strictly between us, you got it?" Izuru nods to let me know he'll tell no one, and my words send him reeling. "Gin still holds love for me at the very least. It was clear to me he wanted to spare my life, and he was heartbroken when he thought I was going to die by his actions when we fought in the Central 46 building." Izuru goes stock still as I confess what I've told no one. "He intentionally held back on me, Izuru. We've sparred enough times for him to know all my weaknesses. Yet he didn't use a single one to harm me intentionally. When he did hurt me aiming for Hitsugaiya, the look on his face spoke volumes. He could have easily gone all the way with his last strike, he had more than enough time to run my heart through. But he didn't, and was actually crying as he felt my heart slow under the touch of his blade. Gin didn't go through with finishing me because he really does hold love for me in the heart he hides away. Nothing could convince me otherwise, I'd stake my very soul on it." Izuru's hold on me goes so tight my joints pop, his voice harsh as he whispers, "Megan...! You're sure?!" I nod and Izuru starts to shake as I tell him, "Delivering the missive only proved it to me. We have a specific signal for each other. A way to speak without the need for words. Gin pulled my ribbon to tell me, I know without a shred of doubt. He didn't want to leave us, Izuru. He ripped his heart out to follow Aizen, leaving it here with us to wither and die without him." Izuru flinches and trembles as I finish. "I don't know why he helped Aizen in the beginning, but I know Gin wouldn't be able to go against Aizen without getting himself killed now. What Aizen did to Momo is proof of how easily he can throw someone aside. Momo was fully committed to serving him, and yet he ruined her without qualms. So what end could Gin expect from such a sadictic and powerful tyrant? I know what he's doing is all a well crafted con to preserve his survival, just like he always played with us to hide his deeper feelings from plain view. Gin may have left, but it wasn't what he wanted by any means. He did not want to harm me, and doing so broke what heart he had before he ripped it out and left."

Izuru doesn't say anything, he just sits on the desk as he absorbs my words. "Do you really believe that?" I take Izuru's hand and press it to my heart, "I do, my souls brother. With all of this heart that Gin chose to spare. I believe he still has love for us both, for you along with me." Izuru notes the even pace beneath his hand, shaking his head as he whispers, "Even now, you can still have faith? You honestly amaze me, Megan. You really do. Are you so certain he didn't take some pleasure in upending our world as we know it?" I flinch at this to say, "He loves chaos, so a part of him would have enjoyed some of it. But hurting me, hurting you? I don't believe he enjoyed that for one fraction of a second. You matter to him just as much as I do. And his sorrow was soaking my senses when he tugged on my ribbon before I left." I hug Izuru tight to say, "But even this makes little difference in the long run, Izuru. Our brother is a wounded captive, in a prison he cannot ever hope to escape from. Aizen is his jailer, and he will keep Gin in his custody indefinitely. Until Aizen deems fit to either throw Gin at us to execute for him or kill him by his own directive should Gin fall too far out of line." Izuru shivers at this to ask me, "So what do you suggest we do?" I grip his shirt tight and tell him with much sorrow, "The only thing we readily can do. We serve our squad to the best of our ability. And when the time comes, we free Gin from his cage by ending his life for good. The man we knew may as well be looked upon as dead or critically wounded with no hope of living, Izuru. What is left is a mere shade of who we know and love, a haunted spectre that will linger in torment until one of us puts it to rest. But such should not be done out of hate, it should be our of despair for what could have been. For when you kill a man, you take away not only what he was, but everything he could ever aspire to be. It's the last thing I want to have to do for Gin, but it's the only option we have left." Izuru chokes at this, but his words are just as bitter. "You've always been able to forgive others readily! But I can't! I don't have that in me, Megan! Not for this, it's too much to just forgive all the pain he's caused! As far as I'm concerned, he enjoyed every bit of what he did! I don't care if he wanted to go or if he was forced! The man that left is not Gin Ichimaru, that monster killed our Captain in cold blood! That poisonous viper consumed all that was good inside him, and nearly took you from us all in the bargain! I will never forgive him for that! I will not hold out hope that the man we loved may still linger! He's long gone! If he ever existed to begin with!" I give a hard sigh to nuzzle my nose to his, our tears mingling as I whisper in grief, "I understand, Izuru. Your anger and pain is well warranted, he was your Captain for far longer than he was mine. But answer me this. Do you still have faith in me, my souls brother?" He chokes and nods vehemently to tell me, "Always, my sister. Always." I place a kiss to the corner of his lips, his own sorrow making him tremble as I say, "Then hold tightly to me instead of to your hatred and misery. For I have more than enough love to weather us through this storm." His eyes hold mine with a mix of emotions. "Megan... I-" I place my face to his to whisper in his ear, "I love you, my souls brother. Come away from the darkness. Take my offered hand, leave the hate in your heart behind you. If only for my sake. I need you, Izuru. Please..." My voice breaks as I start to cry, his frame going stock still as I choke out, "I just- I- Izuru! I have no idea what I'm supposed to do! I'm not meant to be a Captain! I never should have been a shinigami to begin with! I wasn't supposed to have anyone love me ever again! I was told long ago that getting pregnant would be near impossible! So how in the Hell did I end up with all of this on my shoulders?! It's just all so much to handle, yet I'm supposed to just take it all in stride?! Izuru, what am I supposed to do?! Especially when my world has fallen to ruins around me!"

Izuru hugs me tight as I sob and sniffle to ask me, "Well... What were you supposed to do with your life instead of all this?" I choke out automatically, "Stayed alive and in the Living World until past my fourties at least. Fulfill my fondest dream at having a small studio appartment with an art degree. Paint for a living and making decent money to live my life reading books and writing poetry. Going to the bakery every morning to have a fresh baked roll with jam and a hot chocolate, to then run home to work it off. Something simple and not in the least bit scarey or complicated." Izuru laughs at this answer, his smile returning as he notes, "That does sound like a good life. Would you have let me sit with you to write my haiku then?" I choke on my laugh. "Sure. You could remind me to feed myself when we worked all day at our passions. We'd watch movies together every night, and you'd fall asleep next to me on the couch." His hands trace up to my shoulders. "We sound more like a couple than just platonic siblings like we are now." I go dead still and say, "Halt that train. Romance means complicated, Izuru. This is supposed to be simple, remember?" He laughs at this bit and says, "Sorry. It sounds wonderful, Megan. But is it better than what you have now?" I don't even hesitate. "Only in that it's simplified! I'd never give Jushiro or any of the rest of you up! I find that I enjoy all the chaos, just not all at once in such large doses!" Our laugh echoes over the office, Izuru hugging me tight as he says, "If anything, we can make fresh rolls every morning for the whole squad as a new tradition." I nod at this to tell him, "Great idea, but do you wanna get up at four in the morning to do such?" He chokes and says, "Uh, not especially... You serious?" I nod again and tell him, "Bakers have to get up early to get all the breads baked for those early birds that come right at opening. Hence why I gave up my idea of owning a bakery." Izuru smiles to suggest, "Perhaps a once a week thing, we pick a squad member to take out for a special treat." I tilt my head to ask him, "We doing this for winners of the tournaments or just who we think has worked really hard for that week?" He thinks for a second to say, "What about both?" I nod in agreement. "I like that idea." I lean us back so we fall onto the desk, Izuru giving a yelp when I do so to then laugh and tell me, "Warn me next time you do that." I snicker and tease him by saying, "And ruin the surprise?" He laughs hard at this, then his arms hug me tight. "Thank you, Megan. I know full well you will do your best for us, regardless of your fear and doubts." I give a long sigh as I grip his front tight. "I just hope you can handle all my screw ups and mood swings while I'm expecting. Jushiro has had an extremely hard time keeping me from losing what little sanity I have left." Izuru smiles and looks around the office to ask, "You going to change anything in here?" I give a shrug and say, "I'll do so as needed, at least until we get me used to this new job position." We hear a knock as Izuru helps me back up, Ukitake walking in to ask, "Everything okay?" I grunt and tell him, "No, I've been shanghied into a job I'm quite certain is going to leave me at my wits end." He laughs as I hop off the desk and walk to the closet. Both of them raise an eyebrow as I open it and say, "Aha! At least I can dress for the part at least!"

My hands hesitate for a moment, then I reach up and gently lace one of the haori's off the both of them go wide eyed as I look down at the haori, then I slip it on to turn towards them. My eyes leak as I say, "May as well get used to wearing this. And I'm very aware it's too big for me. But it's best to use what's here, isn't it?" Ukitake walks over to place his hands to my neck as I choke, my eyes streaming as he places a kiss to my lips. Izuru gives a sigh and says to me, "It's your choice, Megan. You don't have to, but it is your choice." I give a hard sob as Ukitake hugs me to his frame, his hand pressing my head to his heart as I take a hard drag of air. But then I steel myself to grip Ukitake tight, my arms pressing him into me as I say, "No, it is my priveledged responsibility! I have a duty to make certain that this division flourishes! Just as it did under Gin Ichimaru! I'm not about to let all this squad has worked for and achieved spiral into the drink! I'm not going to let this loss ruin everyone! Yes, it's a grieved and deeply felt loss! But I won't let this be the end of us! Not my peers, not my squad! We will despair, and we will use it to press forward even more ferverently that before! Trials are temperings, and we will rise up even stronger than what we were previously!" I cinch the sash to the haori tight, replacing my zanpakuto at my waist to declare, "I am now the Captain of the third division! And I'll be damned if I shirk in my tasks for one tenth of a second!" I look to Izuru and hold out a hand, which he readily takes for me to squeeze tight. "Izuru, don't you dare let me forget the promise I just made! That is my first order as your Captain! This order takes priority, is this understood?" He smiles to nod at me imediately. "Yes, my Captain. I will engrave it upon my very heart." I step forwards to place my palm to his heart, the beat strong and even against my fingers as I swear to him, "As I will do so in turn! We can do this, Izuru! Aizen hoped to weaken us with our grief! Let's prove that it's our strength to overcome such that will be damning to him and all those that would stand against us!" His nod is that of agreement, then I hug him tight to tell him, "Now that we've sounded all awesome and in control, here's my next order. Don't you dare let your hate or anger overwhelm you, Izuru." He goes ram rod straight as I give him my hardest stare. "Hate is the last thing that I need, especially from my second and my partner. So be warned. You let such darkened thoughts and feelings wrest complete control of you, I will strip you of your position and toss you into the barracks until you get your head on straight. I have no need for men out for vengence, I have need of those willing to lay all down for their comrades. You dare change in this manner, and you will suffer consequences. Have I made myself clear?" He blinks a few times, then nods. "As clear as glass, Megan." I smirk at him to say, "Good. I think we're off to a pretty good start then."

***** cut off point *****

The second Ichimaru moves to touch Aizen's blade, I move myself next to him to do the same. The both of us touch the pommel together as we stand shoulder to shoulder, Ichimaru giving an even wider grin as my fingers touch over his along with the pommel. "Perfect timing. I take it you knew?" I nod and state, "Good luck in being able to convince many of the others. But I don't give a damn about that or anything else right now. You play lead, I'll play support." Aizen goes wide eyed as Ichimaru strikes, his blade piercing through Aizen as he flinches. Ichimaru retracts the blade the same time I release my bankai, his words amused as he states, "I'm sure you've been well aware of how I've been lying this whole time, Aizen. I also fibbed about my zanpakuto. Since it actually turns to dust for me to leave pieces of the blade in my enemy. Which means it's poison causes instant death whenever I wish." Ichimaru holds up his blade to show the piece that is missing, and Aizen goes even more wide eyed to place he free hand to his heart. I give a chuckle to note, "I'd bet there's nothing there to begin with. But we'll never know once Gin ruins your frame. Know that the moment the Hogyoku is in my hands, I shall wish for it's destruction. You will not be reborn in any fashion, Sosuke Aizen. This is the end of you. DO IT!" Ichimaru places his free hand to Aizens chest, and his words activate the poison. Aizen's chest is blown to bits, Ichimaru snatching the small sphere for us to Shunpo as fast as we can away from him. We get a few dozen blocks away for me to hug Ichimaru as tight as possible, my eyes leaking as I choke out, "Brother! Praise the Lord! I knew it! I held onto my faith in you all the while! OH GIN!" His arms come around to hug me close, my hands gripping tight to his coat as he tells me, "You've risked everything to stand with me! Why would you do that?! You're fiance! You're child still inside you! Your very soul! WHY?! I gave you no real reason to-" But I bring my lips to the corner of his mouth in a loving kiss, making him stop mid sentence as I whisper, "I gave a vow to my brother in spirit. I swore unto God I would never willingly abandon one whom is my joy, even if that hope is as miniscule as a single grain of sand. My heart embraces you, Gin Ichimaru. The Lord guided me to keep my faith in one whom is my brother in all but blood. It is not a risk to stand beside one whom has never been my enemy. I will always be your sister, and I will always stand beside you." Ichimaru hugs me all the tighter as the Hogyoku starts to glow, and I note a shift in the air the same time Ichimaru shoves me away from him. Aizen's swing at my back slices Ichimaru open with ease, my scream echoing over the block as Ichimaru goes wide eyed for blood to drip from his lips. Aizen takes Ichimaru's hand that holds the Hogyoku to pull, his arm coming off at the elbow as Aizen notes, "So foolish. The Hogyoku is me. It does not matter how far you take it. This power it gifts is a part of me now. Thank you for completing my transformation, Gin. You played your role at instilling fear for my survival at the last moment very well. I have no more use for you anymore. You can die first."

Ichimaru's hand reaches out to me the same time I move, the feathers of my wings forming a sheer wall of light for Aizen's blade to bounce clean off it. The feathers then point tip first at Aizen's changing form and start shooting into him with all the force I can summon into the assault. The feathers are an unrelenting bombardment as I pick Ichimaru's arm up and come around to grab him by the waist, moving us back a bit to keep Aizen from him as I place a few of the feathers to the gushing gash in his chest. The feathers meld into his wound in a shower of glowing lights, the cut closing most of the way as he grits his teeth. Aizen gives a loud shout as the feathers keep up their assault, my reiatsu forming more to keep up the bombardment as I start huffing. I place Ichimaru's detatched arm back against his flesh, taking more of the feathers that form around me to glue his arm back together as best I can. Aizen starts swatting away the missiles of light as I tremble, Ichimaru flexing his fingers on his reattached arm to put that arm around my shoulders as my frame starts getting hot. I hold up both hands with my great staff in between my fingers, the feathers forming about Aizen to shoot at him from all directions. Ichimaru watches in amazement as the power builds, the feathers like well honed arrows of unrelenting light as I start shouting with all the air I can muster, "I WON'T LET YOU TAKE MY BROTHER FROM ME AGAIN, SOSUKE AIZEN! HE'S HAS NOT, NOR WILL HE EVER BE, YOURS TO DO WITH AS YOU SEE FIT! YOU MAY LAY CLAIM TO HIM NO LONGER! GIN ICHIMARU IS FREE OF YOUR CLUTCHES! I WON'T ALLOW YOU TO TOUCH HIM EVER AGAIN!" My whole body aches as my reiatsu smolders around me, Ichimaru putting his fingers to my neck and going wide eyed. I give everything I have as Rangiku lands next to us, Ichimaru flinching when she puts a hand on his shoulder to tell her, "I'm sorry." Rangiku frowns to then look to Aizen as he starts cursing, her gaze then drifting to me as I tremble in place. Her words are blunt, but the affection underneath is clear. "Save it. You've never told me anything. So why bother apologizing now?" Ichimaru jerks like she slapped him, his voice hoarse as he confesses, "It was all to keep you safe from Aizen." Rangiku's eyes go as wide as allowed as she whips her head to stare at him, his words choked as he tells her, "Long ago when we were still children, Aizen used the Hogyoku near our home. The end result was you passed out after crying for a bit, but it was clear that even when you were out you were still hurting. I swore that day I would make certain you'd never cry again because of him." Rangiku lowers her head as I give a loud cough, my air strained as I tell her, "I knew he'd have a reason for playing double agent. I told all of you that before this whole raid started. Yet most of you never gave the idea a second thought, if there was ever a first. I'm gonna slap every single one of you with a vehement 'I told you so' when we get back. Rangiku, can you sense Ichigo yet?" She shakes her head to then wince and go down on her knees, Ichimaru unlacing his touch from my frame to place his hands on her shoulders instead. I give a huffed out laugh as he looks over at me. "Figures. Gin, pluck a couple feathers and place them on her. I can't stop what I'm doing until Ichigo gets here."

I grip the great staff and thunk it down to the ground in front of me, huffing with emphasis as I keep firing feathers by the multitudes. Ichimaru grabs a handful of feathers to place them on Rangiku, her body glowing with each one as it heals her of all the injuries she's taken. But Ichimaru still has a half dozen of them to then bring them over to me, Rangiku shaking her head as he places his his fingers to my neck again. I choke and pant as I keep firing, my body going cold as I shiver against the great staff. Ichimaru goes bug eyed as I cough, the red from my lips making him grab hold of me. "Megan! Stop! I'll-" I give him the most pointed glare I've ever used, it's piercing cutting him off mid sentence as I state, "You will sit here and stay put! I did not risk everything to let you throw your life away! Don't make me kido your ass in place to make my point!" I squeeze my eyes shut as Aizen starts blocking the feathers more effectively, his smile full of confidence as he notes, "You have gotten very skilled with your bankai, Captain of Squad Three. It would seem you did earn your place as Gin's replacement." Then Aizen takes a hard swing with his blade, the force blowing away all of my arsenal with ease. I shiver and relace the feathers to dance around us, though it takes a ton of energy when I have little left. Each time Aizen swings his blade, a feather blocks the blade to have it go wide. My lips leak red freely with each hard pant, my lung burning like I'm aspirating liquor as I keep blocking. Until the last feather is expended and I block the next swing with the great staff. The great staff gets knocked from my grip with ease, the twin kodachi in the next blow as Aizen chuckles to state, "And now you've reached your limits. Well done, Megan. Now the four of you can die." Ichimaru throws himself in front of me as Aizen swings down, but it is another that shields the coming blow. I give a choked chuckle of my own to state, "Nice save, Ichigo. You have perfect timing." Ichigo stands in front of me as Ichimaru turns his head around, my words hoarse as I state, "Since I'm still able to talk, I told you all Gin was playing secret agent. So be sure to tell the others that key fact." Ichigo nods to ask me, "You okay, Megan?" I cough more red to answer with, "Just deal with Aizen somewhere else so I can fall over. Okay?" Ichigo nods, grabbing Aizen by the scruff of the neck to then dissapear from sight with his opponent. I fall into Ichimaru's embrace in the next second, my bankai dissolving as my strength gives out. Ichimaru catches me to lift me up, Rangiku getting back up to state, "We should get her somewhere safe. Like that private garden a few streets down." Ichimaru nods to use his Shunpo, Rangiku following as they take me far from danger. I go limp in Ichimaru's hold as we get to the garden, the roses blooming around us as he lays me down with care. Rangiku helps him get my captain's haori off since I'm so hot, folding it to place it under my head as I pant in air. Each breath burns like fire, Ichimaru placing his hand where his blade went into my lung as tears water in his eyes. "Megan, even now you astound me. Did anyone know what you were planning on doing for me?" I give him a nod to say, "I made myself very clear... To Head Captain Yamamoto... and every captain and lieutenant..." Ichimaru goes stock still as Rangiku nods in confirmation. "She said there was a mole that had been placed in Aizen's camp, she just wasn't clear who it was. But many of us said it couldn't be you, especially under her orders no less."

I give a breathless laugh as I tell them, "Actually... Head Captain Yamamoto figured... it was the other way around... To which I told him it was... In full detail... that this was exactly... what we were planning..." Ichimaru gives me a knowing smile, his words full of warmth. "So he knows about the letters I left for you in 'our' office?" I nod again and let my head fall back, my eyes closing as I give a loud moan. Ichimaru tells me with a hint of amusement, "Your fiance is going to be quite cross with you for risking the two of you like this. But I'm sure he knew you'd never be swayed. You can be so blessedly stubborn after all." I smile before I flinch and groan, my insides aching all over as Rangiku grips my hand tight. "Megan? What is it?" I then note for each of them, "I hope one of you knows how to play catch... Because my water just broke..." The both of them go bug eyed as I flinch again and shiver, my legs getting soaked as Rangiku looks down. "OH SHIT! SHE'S RIGHT!" I reach out and give a tug on Unohana's spirit ribbon, her answer to tug on mine in turn as I grit my teeth and hiss in air. I end up clenching my fist in her ribbon without meaning to, her response to tug again with more force as Rangiku unties the belt to my hakama for me. Ichimaru gets behind me to prop me up as I whimper and choke, Rangiku getting my hakama off me as she says, "Never did I once think we'd end up like this. I'd laugh myself sick if anyone had even joked about this earlier." I smirk and then flinch again as the pain doubles, my shout making Ichimaru flinch in turn. Unohana arrives moments later, her eyes going wide to state, "Gin Ichimaru?! You were the spy after all?!" Ichimaru nods and then flinches when I jerk again, making Unohana hurry over to help me. She tells Rangiku, "Go and find some water and a few cloths for me, please." Rangiku flash steps to do as requested and I shout again, Unohana opening my legs to prop them into place. "How far apart are the contractions, Megan?" I huff and moan as I tell her, "By my count... three minutes?" I yelp again to then say, "Make that two minutes..." Ichimaru hugs me to his front to ask Unohana, "Isn't this going a bit too fast?" Unohana frowns as her hands trace over my abdomen, her kido lacing over my skin as she notes, "It would be if she wasn't to eight centimeters already. But this is going very quickly, I'm honestly surprised at the speed this is going." I grit my teeth and shudder as I note, "Mom told me her delivery for me was very fast. The doctor barely made it to play catcher." Rangiku arrives with a bucket of water and a few hotel towels, setting the bucket next to me to say, "There's a hotel a few houses down we could take her to." Unohana shakes her head to note for us, "I think this little one isn't going to wait that long." I yelp as I instunctually bear down, my hand reaching for Ukitake's ribbon to grip tight. Both Ukitake and Kyoraku give mine a tug in response, Kyoraku and my fiance flash stepping in front of us in the next handful of moments. The both of them go bug eyed at the sight, Unohana telling them, "This will be over very quickly. Jushiro? Shunsui? You may want to keep her from-"

I shout as I bear down again, Ukitake taking my hand for Kyoraku to get the other. The both of them flinch as my grip about crushes their fingers, Kyoraku noting, "Ow! Easy, Megan! Don't take my whole hand off!" I flinch and shiver as Ichimaru and Ukitake look at each other, making me say, "Jushiro, meet the spy I told you about. On a side note, I told you so." Ukitake sighs at this statement, shaking his head to smile. "It would seem you're faith wasn't misplaced after all, Megan. Though I'm not pleased that you would risk yourself like this." I give another flinch as Ukitake then notes, "But you always did say you had absoulte faith in your brother. It stands to reason you would place your safety in him as well as your trust. Gin, thank you for keeping my treasures safe. I am in your debt." Ichimaru gets his smile back as he says to Ukitake, "Technically, she was the one protecting me. I never would have thought my amusing mouse could transform into such a fierce dragon. I take it that's your influence?" Ukitake shakes his head as they both laugh, telling Ichimaru with amusement, "She's a little of both, if I was to be honest with you. Both a lion and a lamb in turn." I yelp and about levitate off the ground on the next contraction, my eyes streaming as I choke out, "Roar then! OW! Oh GOD! AUGH! OW!" Rangiku hands Ichimaru a wet cloth for me, his hands pressing the cold to my face and neck to help as I pant in air. On the next contraction, Unohana tells us, "Good, the baby is crowning. This little one has a lot of hair. Keep pushing, Megan. You're doing very well." I growl and bear down again as my hands go numb from my grip, Ichimaru hugging me tight as Kyoraku asks, "Black or brown Retsu?" She gives him a smile to state, "I'll be able to show you in one more moment. One last push, my dear." I huff and oblidge, my shout very loud as Unohana tells us, "And that does it. Hello little one. Rangiku, one of the towels, please." I go limp as we hear a loud wail, everyone giving smiles of glee as Ukitake looks down at me with love. "We have a beautiful son, Megan." I grin like an idiot as Ichimaru rests me against his shoulder, my laugh very tired as I say, "You get first hugs, Jushiro. You've waited long enough in my book." He goes wide eyed to nod with tears in his eyes, Unohana removing the umbilical cord with a gesture of her kido to then wrap the infant and hand him to his father. Rangiku leans forward with a grin on her face, noting to me with elation, "Wow! He's so big! Whatcha gonna call him?" I give a tired sigh as Ukitake looks to me for an answer, and I say automatically the name I picked long ago. "If it's all right with the new father, I was thinking Avery Donavin." Ukitake smiles to nod in agreement, looking down at the bundle in his arms with a look of complete elation. "Avery. Hello. I am so glad to see you, I've waited for a very long time for this meeting." Unohana removes the placenta with ease, my eyes drifting closed as I go limp in exhaustion. Ichimaru hugs me tight to his front with a wide grin on his face, Kyoraku letting my hand go to shake it with vehemence. "Remind me to let you hold her hand the next time, Ichimaru. That hurt, I think she broke all my fingers." Ichimaru laughs at this to tell him, "She's never been a weakling, Kyoraku. I was going to warn you, but it would have done little good."

I look up at Ichimaru when Rangiku grabs my captain's haori, his hands lacing the material over my front. I ask him, "Shouldn't you be putting this back on?" He shakes his head to hug me tight, his words making me ache. "Oh my sweet sister. I don't deserve it anymore. You know that I'm a-" I flinch and shake my head as I sob, my hands reaching up to press to his face. "No Gin! I won't let them! I can't lose you to the gallows! Please don't give up on me like that! I already told them you weren't a traitor!" But the others don't look as convinced, Kyoraku lowering his hat to say, "That won't really go over very well at the hearing, Megan. Unless there's solid and unbiased proof that-" I rip off the cross I always wear, and my words are dead pan as I state, "Then I have all the proof right here! I had Captain Kurotsuchi and Brad put a camera and video recorder on my cross before we left for the fake Karakura Town! Along with recorders in our office to show when I recieved your missives while you were in Huecho Mundo! I have all the letters you left behind! I have your missives to me and I kept copies of the ones I sent to you in turn! I kept it all and had every copy sent to squads two, twelve, five and to Head Captain Yamamoto directly for good measure! So don't you dare even think to tell me I missed covering my bases! Because I'm quite certain that was more than enough!" Everyone present goes wide eyed as I choke and go limp again, the cross falling from my fingers as I take hard drags of air. Kyoraku picks up my cross to look at it, Unohana putting her hands on my chest as red leaks from my lips with each hard intake of air. I start coughing on and off as Ichimaru hugs me tight, the droplets of red from my lips staining the haori as I shiver and choke. Unohana gets a worried look on her face as she works, her kido glowing brighter as she tells us, "That is not good. She's developed a fever along with an infection around her previous injury. We need to get her back to the relief station." Rangiku presses a cloth to my mouth as I keep coughing, my air ragged as I note, "Gin... Brother... Don't you dare... let them hang you... Please... I'd never... be able to... survive your loss... Not after all... that I worked for to... keep you from the noose..." Unohana places her hands to my face as I choke, Ichimaru lacing his own over my heart to hold tight. His kiss to my head is lost in my hair, but the grip of his fingers against my chest is evident. "Oh Megan. It would seem I have no choice but to do as you ask. Lest I break this heart once more with my actions. I won't give up then. I'll stand my ground, for you if not for myself." Rangiku gives a huff for Ichimaru to look up at her, making her blush as she notes, "Oh don't even go there. Our time to have a conversation will be later. You mark my words Gin. We aren't done. Not by a long shot." Ichimaru nods in agreement as I tremble in his hold, the pumping against his fingers hard and skipping a few beats as Unohana states, "We need to get her back right now! Shunsui, the Senkaimon!" Kyoraku nods as Ukitake reaches a hand out to grip mine tightly, his words full of love as he tells me, "Everything will work out, Megan. Believe and you will not go unrewarded." My eyes drift closed as the sound of our son crying slightly drifts over my ears, then everything fades as I fall into unconsciousness.


End file.
